Bender Falls
by Bootes-'D'-Huntsman
Summary: My name is Dipper. The boy about to puke is my brother Marble. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror... Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Genderbent!Twins AU. Now with beta reader.
1. NormalMAN! Part 1

USE KEY-13

Disclaimer:

GRAVITY FALLS BELONGS TO THE EVER BRILLIANT ALEX HIRSCH. ALL I HAVE IS DIPPER'S HAT

Special thanks to Aqua Burst 07 for beta reading.

* * *

PROLOUGE

"So do you want cheese on that, hon?" A tall middle aged man asked, flipping a newly roast patty in the grill.

"Sure, hank," his wife replied.

An pair of brown haired twins ran in circles, playing tag while a group of friends enjoying picnic together on a sunny hillside.

A moment later, a pair of screaming twins crashed through the WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS sign, riding a golf cart being chased by a huge menacing shadow leaving trails of destruction in its wake.

"It's getting closer!" A twelve-year-old boy, who has braces, mop brown hair with a maroon sweater and blue shorts, yelled to his sister, glancing at the incoming danger behind.

His twin, a female with a mop of brown hair and brown eyes, continued to drive. "I'm trying, Marble!"

In a matter of seconds, it is right above them, giant hands reaching out to grab only missing the cart by an inch. But their luck was short lived when the vehicle ran through a rock making a 360 jump. The boy gagged, all the motion being too much for his stomach, much to his sister's chagrin.

"Look out, Dipper!" Marble yelled.

Dipper swore she felt her heart skipped a beat when a huge tree was thrown right in front of them. Instinctively pressing her foot on the brake as hard as she could, panic overtaking her as she can't stop swerving the cart left and right driving right straight into to the tree-

* * *

-EARLIER THAT DAY-

* * *

Behind the counter of Mr. Mystery bobble heads, Marble peeked looking at his prey taking the bait. A tanned brown haired boy around his age picked a piece of suspiciously placed paper on the floor.

"Do you like me?" he read out loud.

But it's not exactly much to be called a question if the choices are only "Yes, Definitely, Absolutely." Pinetastic56 written at the bottom. Okay, that was awkward to say at least. The boy took a worried glance around the room, suddenly feeling paranoid.

"If only he know how gorgeous she is!" Marble whispered to himself, only to get elbowed by a very flushed Dipper.

"Cut it out Marble! Who told you to use my Hotmail?" Dipper asked.

Marble winced. "I told you, summer romances are the last thing that I would worry right now." She returned on cleaning a jar full of eyeballs. "Oh come on, sis! We're turning 13 in the end of summer; don't you think it's time for you to be more 'open' to boys?"

"I don't think hooking me with every guy you meet would be a good idea," Dipper replied. Marble doesn't seem to know the meaning of 'not interested' in her book.

"Not this time, sis, not with me around! You're gonna have an epic summer romance, even if it's the last thing your epic broseph will do!" Marble proudly proclaimed to his sister.

Dipper groaned; she had this feeling this is going to be one ridiculously long summer. Sure Marble has more friends that she has-no, she's not jealous or anything-but the feeling of being able to ride a cruise hunting a huge white whale, solving the mysterious murder of the Duchess of Walachia, all of these only possible in fiction is the reason she would always prefer indulging in her favorite books rather some petty romance. Leave it to Marble to go with some random crazy idea, and being on a one man crusade to find his sister a date is his worst yet.

"Don't ya worry, sis. I've got a good feeling this summer! I wouldn't be surprised if the man of your dreams walked through that door right now!" Marble continued, pointing at a nearby open door.

He was right- a man did walked out, but it was anything than he imagined. It's Stan, looking more disheveled and somehow fatter than usual, burped carelessly, carrying a bunch of signs. Definitely not what Marble had in mind.

"Aww! Why!" the boy whined, and his sister burst in a fit of giggles.

Okay, that was definitely priceless.

"All right, all right, look alive people!" Stan announced as he enters the room, gaining the occupants attention. "I need someone to go hammer up these signs at the forest.

"Not it!" the twins replied in unison.

"Uh, also not it." A plump tall man of Mexican descent answered, pausing in his work of drilling the wall. He wears Grey shorts, a black t-shirt with a strange question mark symbol in it and a black hat.

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm totally comfortable with that." The man, who was named Soos, replied before taking a huge bite of his chocolate bar.

"Wendy, I need you to put up with this sign!" the old man asked his other staff, who currently manning the cashier, lazily setting her foot on the table reading a magazine.

"I could, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh…." Wendy, a lanky redheaded teenage girl with freckles wearing a green flannel shirt, blue pants and black boots, sporting a brown lumberjack hat, replied with blatant disinterest.

"I'd fire all of you if I could," the conman muttered. "All right, let's make it…. eenie, meenie, miney.. you." He pointed right at Dippers direction, much to her surprise.

"What? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched," she said, glancing back at left to right to emphasize her point.

"Ugh, this again." The old man groaned.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE.'" She raised her left arm to for the old man to see.

"It spells BEWARB" he corrected. Yeah, it actually does. "Look, kid. The whole 'Monsters in the Forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like him," he said, pointing at a random tourist enjoying the Stan-bobbleheads's head bobble, "so quite being so paranoid." He finished giving the twelve- year-old girl the signs.

"But what about Marble? I mean, he's the dude." The little girl tried to reason with his relative one last time.

"He'll litter the signs with glitter all over; tell me you don't find that terrifying."

Dipper groaned, walking out the shack, signs in tow.

* * *

_IN THE FOREST_

* * *

Summer, as Dipper concluded, sucked. Or as of the current situation she is right now, walking in the middle of the forest nailing signs to the trees. Her parents sent her and Marble here for the summer to get more fresh air. She knows there is something off about this place. She would always get this faint feeling of being followed, sudden goose bumps here and there. It didn't helped that a faintly thick fog loomed around, as if her predicament isn't creepy enough already. It's her job, of all people. Why not Marble? She swears her brother is a walking hyperactive machine. He would jump off a cliff if you told him that gummy bears will catch his fall, the fact that Stan choose her over him is beyond her.

She heard a shrill laugh through the tress. Whipping her head around to double check, she didn't see anything. Okay; there's nothing. She is just being paranoid. The sooner she gets this done the better. Keep. On. Walking. Take a deep breath, Dip.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan, nobody ever believes anything I say." Dipper muttered, as she finished nailing a sign on a nearby tree.

She moved to another one, which looked like any other normal tree. But any other normal tree won't make a metallic 'clang' when pounded like this one. Her eyes widened, looking around to make sure no one was watching. She leaned, once again banging her hammer against the unusual tree, once again producing the odd noise. Ok, now she's curious.

Carelessly, her hands prods the bark of the metal tree. Finally, she felt some indention in the side of the tree, she pried if off the bark, only to open in a way like a hatch. Revealing what appears to be a radio transmitter with two red switches. She messes around with the controls, hoping It would trigger something

Much to her hidden delight, she heard a sound of working machinery behind her, followed by a familiar bleat. Turning around she saw the goat, who was dubbed Gompers, courtesy of her brother, running away. What is this doing here?

Approaching the hole with caution, she looks down. It was a book, thick and hardbound. It appeared to be really, really old, evidenced by the cobwebs and insects that sort of inhabit the cover, 'eww'. She picked it up and blew the dust off, revealing the cover; a gold six fingered hand symbol with a number '3' encased in the middle. She opens the book.

"Property of-" a note was attached at the very first page with its bottom ripped off. What a tease. Moving an eyeglass out of the way as she began reading. "It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." The girl read out loud, as her voice gradually raised with her intrigue.

Flipping through page after page, gnomes, gargoyles, creatures of the night, sightings and evidences, each with having an extensive record deconstructing some fascinating myths she knew as a kid. What is all this?

Looking further, she stumbled across a passage that read:

Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."

That's enough for a moment. She closed the book to rest her head, overwhelmed by the huge revelation. "No one you can trust," Dipper repeated as she glanced at the book she was holding, too focused to notice a certain boy sneak up behind her.

"HELLO!" Marble yelled, and for the second time in her oh-so-lucky day, she screamed, causing her to nearly drop the book she was holding.

"Owie, Yeesh sis!" Marble muttered, nursing his ears. "You're lucky I'm not wearing any hearing aids. So wat'cha readin', some nerd thing?"

Suddenly aware that his attention was now on the book she was holding, she shields it away from her brother's view, hoping to divert his attention as much as she could.

"Uh, uh, it's nothing." Dipper said, turning around to face her brother, hiding the book behind her.

"Uh, uh, it's nothing." Marble mockingly imitated his twin. He laughed. "What? Are you actually not gonna show me? Oh hey Gompers!" And, then the goat was back, nibbling at the edges of the journal.

Dipper let a sigh escape her. Marble is her brother, her twin. She can tell him...right? Glancing around to make sure they were the only people in the forest, she turns to her brother.

"Let's go somewhere private." She told her twin.

* * *

_THE MYSTERY SHACK_

* * *

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side." Dipper said, walking around the room reading the newly discovered book.

"Whoah! Shut up!" Marble said, sitting on the side of Stan's lazy chair and watching his sister ramble around with a smile.

"And get this, after a certain point the pages just… stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared!" Dipper rambled on.

The door bell rang, snapping Dipper from her train of thought.

"Who is that?" she voiced her thoughts out loud.

"Oh yeah, would you know it Sis! I've got a new best summer buddy today!" Marble replied, jumping off the chair before making his way to the door. Dipper just stared at her brother in confusion, wondering who this person might be. She shrugs, sitting on the chair as she keeps on reading.

"What'cha reading there tyke?" Stan asked entering the room drinking his Pitt Cola startling the girl.

"Oh!" Dipper hastily hides the book beneath the cushion, snatching one of Stan's magazines. "I was just catching up on, uh….Gold Chains For Old Men?"

"It was a good issue." Stan replied with a shrug, sipping taking another sip on his cola. "Where's the other one?"

"Oh you know," Dipper replied, sounding as nonchalant as she could, "off to the door to greet his new best friend. It's only been half an hour and I doubt people don't get that close real quick."

"Don't think about it too much kiddo; it's just how your brother works. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was your age."

Dipper paused.

"Hey, family! Imma found myself a new summer buddy!" Marble announced, standing in the doorway. A teenager, who about a head taller than him, wearing dark pants and a hooded jacket, stood beside her brother. He turns around, he looks like any other Goth-wannabe-to-look-cool teens, except for the red stains (Blood!?) on his face.

"Sup," he said in a throaty 'deep' voice, maybe too throaty. Dipper swore she saw a hidden gleam in the stranger's eyes as it lands on her.

"How's it hangin'," Stan waved, not even the slightest bit bothered with the stranger's unusual aura.

"What's your name?" Dipper asked.

"Uh, Normal….MAN!" he fumbled for an answer.

"He means Norman. Norman, that's my sister Dipper," Marble interjected. Norman made a knowing grunt, looking at his sister.

"We met at the cemetery. He's pretty cool sis, broody, and mysterious," he said, with emphasis on the last part.

Dipper groaned and buried her head on her hands. Ugh, he's really not trying to pull this again? Marble introduces a new guy, and he's just as subtle as ever. Here they go again!

"Are you bleeding?" she asked, trying to sound like she was interested and ignoring the different way the teen would stare at her, or how she quickly caught on the obvious meaning in her brother's eyes.

"It's Jam," the guy replied.

Marble gasped. "Sis love's Jam too!" No she doesn't! "And she has a thing for dark broody loners." To be fair, she did have a crush on Bram Stoker's Dracula back in 3rd Grade, but Marble meant the gayer 'Sparkly' modern versions. "And he reads books Dipper! Someone you could relate too!" No, he looks anything but the reading type. Dipper even doubts he'd ever sit down and read a book in his life.

A few awkward moments have passed and neither any people of the room makes a comment, and N until 'Norman' broke the silence.

"So, ugh, you wanna go outside doing some guy stuff or… whatever?" he asked, shifting his gaze towards Marble.

"Sure, dude; I think I just saw some clearing near the Au river," Marble replied.

"Um, okay."

"Cool, I'll go get my ball." With that, the twin ran inside the house to find his favorite basketball.

"I'll uh, see you there I guess," the guy called out, yet his eyes are kept focusing on Dipper.

She noticed, and started to squirm in her seat. Thankfully, he finally walks out the house, though eyes still fixated on the girl. Well, that takes the cake for creepiness. There was something off about him.

'TRUST NO ONE'

Now she could finally feel the dreading tone behind those words.

Shaking off the creepy vibe, she picks up the journal and makes her way up to their room in the attic. Maybe this book has something to say.

* * *

_ATTIC_

* * *

Dipper entered the room carrying the journal before plopping herself on her bed. Seemingly can't take her thoughts away from how Marble's new 'summer buddy' acted earlier. Tall, pale, black get up, infinitely creepy, he would definitely pass off as another teenager. Hey may have fooled Marble (to be fair it's criminally easy), but as far as she's concerned he's hiding something. She couldn't describe this sinking feeling in her stomach, and she doesn't like it.

"Okay, Norman, what 'are' you exactly?" She muttered to herself.

Browsing through aged pages of the ancient book, she stopped on a certain page, eyes widening as she studies it:

Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for… Teenagers!? Beware of Gravity Fall's nefarious creatures -zombies.

What made her heart sink is the illustration of the zombie looked like a dead ringer for Norman.

"Zombies!?" Dipper dropped the book, panic overtaking her as she paced around the room biting her chewing her finger. She heard Stan calling out something in the bathroom, but she was too focused on the terrifying revelation right now to care.

"Oh man! Oh man! Oh man!" she repeated like a chant around the room. Pacing back in forth, hyperventilating. What was she going to do?

Shifting her gaze towards the window, she spotted her brother and Norman outside through the window playing dodge ball.

"So, ugh, you wouldn't mind if I go and try right?" Norman asked her brother, unfazed when a ball smacks straight into his face.

"Dude, if I didn't know any better I'd say you're overqualified! I mean sure, she'd just met you few minutes ago but have you ever watched Fozen! She'll like you in no time!" Marble cheered.

Dipper fainted.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED?

* * *

Aaand there goes chapter one. Chapter two may take a while depending on my schedule.

Rate and Review please!

It has some flaws, no scratch that, there's a ton of it.

Gender bender has always been a guilty pleasure to me. One of my favorite things in fanfiction.

As you've noticed, not much has been changed in canon other than the twin's genders. I'm experimenting to say at least, the Butterfly Effect will be applied. It derails from canon in later chapters.

Reviewers, be merciless, constructive criticism will be appreciated.

Flamers? Meh, *Shrug*.


	2. NormalMAN! Part 2

And here we have it chapter 2. Watch out for mistakes.

Special thanks to Aqua Burst 07 for beta reading this.

Yeah, I did kinda went back in forth with Genderbent!Mabel's name back in the first. His name is Marble, and thats it.

Thanks for the ideas randomfandom, maybe I could use them in later chapters.

Don't own Gravity Falls.

* * *

"Hey Dipper, wake up."

Soos gently shake the apparently passed out Dipper lying on the floor stirring her awake.

"Huh, wait-what?" the twelve-year old-groaned. Opening her eyes, she saw Soos kneeling down with a worried expression on his face.

"You okay? You were out for like a minute there," the handyman asked concern evident on his voice.

Suddenly remembering the situation, Dipper quickly stands up and grabs his shoulders.

"Soos, oh my god! You've gotta help me!" Dipper asked, shaking him to emphasize the seriousness of her dilemma. "Marble-has-this-new-friend-who-also-happens-to-be-a-zombie-they-met-at-this-cemetery-I-mean-where-else-would-you-find-one-"

"Whoa, freno dude breath, stay calm. Take a seat," he said, placing a small pink chair in front of her. Dipper looks anything but calm.

"Soos! I think my brother is trying to hook me up with a zombie!" she blurted out, pacing back and forth.

"Hm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?" Soos asked.

"Zero," the girl replied with a sigh, looking down.

"Look, dude; I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf. But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people will think you're a major cuckoo clock," the handyman advised.

"As always, you're right. Thanks."

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Stan called out from downstairs.

"I am needed elsewhere."

With that, the handyman packed his tools and leaves for another task at hand.

Finally being alone, Dipper composes herself thinking her next course of action. Did her brother just make friends with a zombie? Is she just being paranoid? She really has no idea any more...

Dipper walked into her room, pulling her duffel bag beneath her bed. Opening it, she searches through the contents and pulled out one of her old favorites - SDG 465 camcorder. Dipper stared at the device; she might as well just stall him.

She makes her way outside and sees her brother and Norman, still in the same place where they had that outright disturbing conversation minutes ago.

"Hey there sis!" Marble waved at his sister.

"Hey there guys! Hey Norman." She smiled, gaining Norman's attention. "You know, I haven't know that much about you apart from being my brother's new buddy here. How about you and me have a walk around town?" She gestured outside, ignoring the growing grin on her brother's face. "It'll be just you and me for a nice little chit chat."

She finished nervously laughing; honestly, she has no idea why she was feeling bashful. He's hiding something, she can tell, and the only way to find it out is to examine him close and personal, without Marble around of course. She seen 'Marble The Matchmaker' at work. Though, he's quite a pro. She seen a lot number of happy couples courtesy of him at school. She'll stall both of them for a while before he'll hatch up some convoluted plan that would set her up on a date surrounded with Muppets and glitter.

"You're asking him out, sis?! That's so awesome!" Marble cheered, grinning.

"What? No!" Dipper denied, blushing. "I just wanna have a friendly chat, that's all!"

"Oh, uh, um, sure." Norman said, stretching out the last part. Both boys were exchanging what Dippper thinks supposed to be some sort hidden message only between them through exaggerated eye movements. "Lead the way," the teenager told her, eyes still locked on Marble's.

Now, to see who this guy really is.

Marble watched his friend walk away with his sister with barely contained happiness. Sure it wasn't a date, but it's a start. He snaps his fingers as an idea formed on his head, he recalls her sister packing her old video cam in her duffel bag back at home. He bolts his way to their room, this is one moment he can't miss recording.

* * *

_ZOMBIE TRAIT # 1-IMMUNITY TO TRAUMATIC INJURY_

* * *

"And I'm still moist."

Okay, that's it! She'll never let Norman take the lead of the conversation again!

Though, she would admit, they did have a decent conversation earlier. He told her where he lived - Norway, and he likes everything Dipper likes. Wow, Marble is one heck of a blabbermouth. It's strange, he talks way more 'normal' when her brother is around, but being alone with her turns him to a skittish mute. Not that she has a problem with it.

She needs to think of something. Based on her stock knowledge regarding zombie lore, locomotion and appetite for human flesh is the only thing its brains function for. The rest of the nervous system is just as good as dead, including pain receptors. But how could she pull this off? She needs a way to hit him something hard and painful, without doing something stupid like chucking a baseball right to his face.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a baseball went right to his face.

"Ow!"

Nope, zombies don't yelp in pain. Heck, they don't yelp in pain standing perfectly still as if the body doesn't care.

But that doesn't make him any more human, if anything it makes him any more less of it, she mentally crosses out trait # 2 out of her checklist.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sensing the genuine pain in his voice.

Norman cleared his throat. "Nothin' you should worry about," he said in an overly smooth voice, obviously trying to look cool in front of her.

Dipper rolled her eyes as they continued walking. There's still more to check.

* * *

_ZOMBIE TRAIT # 2-ABSENCE OF COGNITIVE FUNTION_

* * *

Though, it might be a stretch, considering how 'locomotives' and a penchant for creepiness is the only thing off about Norman, she's not taking any chances. Zombies have impaired sense of hearing, eyesight and smelling. Fumbling through her vest, she feels her air horn-Marble usually uses on her when she was reading-on her left pocket. Mentally patting herself for being prepared, she leads both of them to a nearby park.

Dipper takes her time enjoying the afternoon air before reaching into her secret weapon in her pockets, never taking it out she readies her finger in the trigger. But someone beats her to it, a high pitch noise erupts in the air subduing nearby dogs.

"Oh god! Make it stop!" he wailed, though he isn't clutching his ears. Instead, he keeps wiggling around as if someone lit him on fire. She could feel every eye's on the park on them; she drags a flailing Norman off to a nearby bench.

The next few moments is always the same routine, Dipper tries something means another dose of pain for Norman, though they did play some games in the playground here and there, the only enjoyable part was Norman pushing the swing for her. Realizing this is going nowhere, she resorts to plan B. Subtly leading them to the forest, it's time for some one on one confrontation once and for all.

* * *

_THE MYSTERY ''HACK - LIVING ROOM_

* * *

Stan laughed, sitting on his lazy chair. His great nephew came barging in earlier ranting something about something only another Marble would understand. He simply ignores him, that is until the boy whips out a video cam and connects it to his TV, rudely interrupting his afternoon nap.

"Hey kid! Can't you see the time? Lunch Break ends in a few minutes." He moves to stop whatever the kid is doing.

"Grunkle Stan! You need to see this!" he told the old man.

"Okay, fine! Ten minutes!"

The boy nods.

A few minutes later the conman burst out laughing. Norman going scorpion, Norman slipping on a ball, pretty much everything with Norman and suffering in it, or as what he sees.

"Kid, these are priceless, where do you even find these?" he asked. "No don't answer it, I meant it rhetorically."

The conman stands up and makes his way to the kitchen to gets himself a drink.

Marble sits comfily in the chair, taking the remote to browse for more videos. Okay, that was pretty easy. All they need to do is getting to know each other, and then Bam! Dippy's got herself a date. Quickly, he presses rewind before his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

Norman pushed an incredibly bored Dipper in the swings, looks pretty normal. It wasn't until Dipper swings back for the third time with more force, hitting Norman straight in the forehead and knocking his head clean off. Norman's body crawls grabbing its head before placing it back, just in time for Dipper to turn her head around to check him.

"See! it's nothing, my head didn't come off." Norman said.

Dipper just stares at him in confusion.

"Oh no, Dippy! What-do-I-do-what-do-I-do-what-do-I-do!?" he started to panic, clutching his hair.

He paces back and forth around the living room. Okay, he can do this. He can save her! He can do this! Think, think, think... what would Dipper do? ...She would panic for a few more minutes then ask advise from Soos ...oh, right!

He made his way outside, spotting Soos tuning up the golf cart.

"Soos! I need your help!" he yelled, running towards the handy man.

"Sup hambone!" Soos waved at his friend.

"Have you seen Dipper around?" he asked, stopping right front of him to catch his breath.

"Um, actually, I think she went to that creepy opening in the forest near the slope right there," Soos said, pointing him the direction.

"Thanks Soos! Can I borrow the cart? Just this real quick."

"Sure dude, here." He tossed Marble the keys, who caught them with ease. "Is this about Norman?"

"Umm, yeah, how did you know?" Marble asked him in confusion.

"Dude, me and your sister thinks that that summer buddy of yours is a zombie."

"Oh crap! Soos, I think you're right! I just saw his head came off in this Dipper's cam! I've gotta find her fast!" he mounts the cart and revs up the engine.

"Here dude, incase for the zombie." Soos handed him a shovel, followed by a bat. "And this is in case you see a piñata."

"I'm coming for ya sis!" he yelled, driving off to the forest.

* * *

_FORESTS_

* * *

Dipper and Norman stood in the middle of a clearing in the forest, neither the two of them saying a word.

"I—"both of them blurted out, once again silencing both of them.

"It's okay, you can go first." Dipper said.

She's really waiting for this very moment to finally ask him dead on for the truth, but she had a faint feeling Norman would just actually spill the beans right here right now.

Norman nodded. "Um, now that we've got to know each other, there's something I should tell you."

"Ok, sure dude."

The interrogation can wait, this looks important. Dipper, suddenly, has this nagging feeling she's gonna regret this.

"Um, just don't freak out. Okay? Just keep it open minded be cool!"

He zips his jacket wide open, unveiling the truth about him. Dipper's jaw dropped.

Standing right where Norman was once were a bunch of garden gnomes. A total of five, with a pair at the bottom as what might be Norman's legs, another pair standing on top of the first, each holding a long stick with hands in the end, and then there's one standing on top of them as the head. Apart from being the only gnome on top, his beard is a healthy shade of brown, unlike his companions, implying he's younger than the rest of them.

"Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" the 'head' gnome asked with concern from a now what appears to be his real voice rather than Norman's.

Dipper stared at them, eyes widen with shock.

"R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off, get that one out of the way."

She still stared.

"I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and…. I'm sorry, I always forgot your name." Jeff introduced his cohorts completely unaware of the short circuited girl in front of them.

"Shmebulock!"

"Shmebulock! Yes!" Jeff snaps his fingers. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?" He says glancing at his cohorts, with the rest of the gnomes chanting 'Queen' with hungry looking eyes straight at her. "Heh. So what do you say?" tapping his left foot, making 'Norman' kneel in a proposing fashion. "Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri…matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!" one of his hands reaches out to offer a beautiful engagement ring. "And your brother says you're smart! I say you're overqualified for this!"

And for the second time this afternoon. Dipper fainted. Strike two.

Jeff just stares at the apparently passed out girl in front if them.

"What do you think that she means guys?" he asked, glancing at his fellow gnomes.

"Yes!" Carson cheered.

"Definitely!" Steve followed.

"Absolutely!" Jason finished.

"Shmebulock!"

* * *

_DEEPER IN THE FOREST_

* * *

Dipper stirs awake, suddenly feeling an extra layer of clothing and something binding her, eyes still closed, she could hear the voices.

"Get those chairs placed Steve! No, not there Jason, do it exactly like Carson did!"

"Shmebulock."

"I know, Shmebulock."

"Shmebulock."

The last thing she remembers is that she and Norman, talking, and the Gnomes.

Gnomes!

Eyes snapping wide open, the first thing she notices is a.) The White Ruffle Wearing Dress she's wearing b.) They'd tied her up to a post c.) More Gnomes

Dipper let out her loudest scream yet.

* * *

_WITH MARBLE_

* * *

A loud scream echoed through the forest, one Marble knew too well. "I'm coming, Dippy!"

Steering the cart to the left, he follows the noise till it leads him to the deeper parts in the forest. Once he turned the corner, his eyes widened. His twin sister, who wearing a white dress, was bound on a post screaming? Surrounded by a couple of... Gnomes? Which also happens to be lying in pain on the ground clutching their ears.

Did he just got himself drunk with Marble Juice again? Cause that's the only perfectly legit reason why he's seeing this right now!

When his sister stops screaming, he snaps out of his daze. Some gnome forcefully covers her mouth with a masking tape. She winced, screaming through the tape.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Let go of my sister!" Marble yelled, leaving the cart, shovel in hand.

Jeff turned around to see who the intruder is to be greeted by a very pissed off Marble, who jabbed a shovel right at his face. "Marble, dude! Oh, it's so good to see you! It's me, your buddy!"

This one looks quite familiar, then it dawn to him.

"Norman!?" Marble shrieked, almost dropping his weapon.

Jeff nodded. "You see, no need to get violent here buddies. You see, us gnomes have been searching for a perfect queen for long time. Before it was a tossup between some spoiled, bratty, rich kid or a pair of weirdoes. That is until she came along, and she's perfect! She'll get to marry one thousands of us and become our queen for all eternity."

All the gnomes cheered.

"Mmphf! Mpmmmppph!" Dipper cried out, struggling to break her binds.

"Yeesh Marble, you never told us she packs one heck of a scream." Jeff noted.

"Let Dippy go or else!" Marble threatened, but Jeff was anything but intimidated.

"You think you can stop us, boy? The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-" He was cut off when the twelve-year-old simply swats him away with a shovel, earning a satisfying yelp of pain.

"You lied to me! No way I'm gonna let my sis marry any of you jerks!"

He makes his way to his sister, swatting every gnome either pouncing on him and making a Gollum impression left and right. Quickly, he brought down the shovel, neatly cutting of the bindings, freeing his sister and removing her tape. Dipper quickly takes off the dress like its on fire, silently thankful that she's still wearing her normal clothes underneath.

"Marble! Run!" The twins made a mad dash back to the cart and hightails their way out. Dipper hoped into the driver's side while Marble sat beside him.

"He's getting away with our queen! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!" Jeff cried out.

Several gnomes appear and begin to stack up.

After a putting some considerable distance away, Dipper makes a stop.

"Hurry, before they come after us!" Marble said to his sister, who was breathing deep recovering from the initial shock of being nearly betrothed by thousands of old little men few minutes ago.

"I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny." Dipper said, smirking.

On cue, the ground shook beneath them, and a huge menacing shadow looming over. Turning around, it's just a lot of gnomes, hundreds of little men stacking up to make one huge terrifying red gnome shaped being.

"Alright right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced." Jeff yelled on the 'drivers seat'. The monster lets out one huge pants wetting howl.

"Move, MOVE!" Marble yelled.

Dipper didn't need to be told twice. She presses the pedal as hard as she could, accelerating the card mere seconds before a giant hand could have smashed them. The arm breaks, losing a lot of gnomes, which just dutifully returned to their post mere seconds. The giant ran after it.

"Marble, please tell me you've brought the journal with you?" The boy pulls out the journal from his sweater, flipping through pages. He stopped on the right page.

"Gnomes," he reads out loud for his sister to hear. "Little men of the gravity falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown? Aww come on!"

"So much for that." Dipper muttered, and he places the journal back to his sweater.

"Come back with our queen!"

The giant reared one of its hands and swung it, sending a bunch of gnomes on top of the cart. The gnomes bite anything they can touch. Shmebulock tries to reach Dipper, only to be swatted away by her brother.

"For the last time, she's off limits!" Marble shouted.

"Who are you to say that?" Jeff shouts back.

He throws the shovel right at the giants head, missing Jeff by a hair.

"I'm her brother! And I said so, that's why!" Marble declared.

Dipper couldn't help but proudly smile. Alpha twin Marble is one of the rarest things she gets to sees him be. This only cause to anger Jeff more, picking a large tree, he throws is right in front where the cart is heading

"Look out!" Marble yelled.

Dipper swore she felt her heart skipped a beat split second the moment a huge tree was thrown right in front of them. Instinctively pressing her foot on the brake as hard as she could, panic overtaking her as she can't stop swerving the cart left and right driving right only missing the tree by a hair. Though their lucky streak finally came to an end when the cart suddenly overturns, landing them straight to the mystery shack.

"Stay back, butt face!"

With a yell, Marble throws the bat right into the gnomes, only to be swatted away with ease. The giant reaches out grabbing Marble, lifting him up in the air.

"Marble!" Dipper cried out.

Dipper stared up at her brother helpless. Ugh. Where's Grunkle Stan-?

"Look dude, this is your fault! None of this would have happened of you just let us all enjoy the nuptials, but nooooooooo you just have to come barging in and ruin everything!" Jeff berated his former friend with disdain.

"My fault!? You lied to me! Tried to woo my sister under my nose! How could I not do it." Marble lets out a small cry of pain when the grip suddenly tightens.

"Marble, no!"

She's running out of options, no weapons around, nothing to use, except for…Oh, wait!

"Hey Jeff! Yes, yes I will marry you!"

Her brother visibly blanched. "Dipper, don't!"

"Hot diggity dog! Smart move right there, like I said, overqualified. Alright let him go guys." The giant's hand loosens, dropping Marble in the ground, who quickly makes his way to his sister.

"Dip, are you crazy? Marrying these guy's gonna suck major butt I tell you!"

But Dipper just smiles and pats her brother's arm reassuringly. "It's okay bro, I got this."

"Excuse me, coming through." Jeff finally makes his way to the ground, approaching Dipper with a smug look of victory, eagerly presenting her engagement ring; Dipper held's out her hand as Jeff delicately puts it on her. "Bada-bing,bada-bam! Now let's get you back to the forest honey!" he announced.

"You may now kiss the bride." Dipper quipped cheekily, batting her eyelashes, the girliest thing Marble had ever seen his sister do.

"Well, don't mind if I do," he said adjusting his blue pajamas before leaning up to kiss her.

Then, reaching for her vest, Dipper pulls out the Air Horn she'd been carrying all day along, aiming right onto Jeff's face.

"What?" That's all the reaction Jeff could muster before Dipper pressed the button as hard as she could eliciting a very loud noise. The gnome shrieked in agony, behind him. The giant let out a painful howl, crumbling.

Sure, she could have just use it earlier to free her brother, Jeff deserves to have it worse. Close and personal.

"That's for kidnapping me!" Another press. "And that's for lying to my brother." Another press. "And this is for making me wear that stupid girly dress!" She kicked him as hard as she could, sending the poor gnome straight back to the forest.

"I'll get you back for this!" Jeff manage to let out flying mid air.

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"

"My arms are tired."

With their leader gone, stomped and kicked out to the forest; the once formidable pack of gnomes were reduced to headless chickens, realizing their utter defeat by the hands of two brown haired twins.

"There's more of that came from," Dipper readies the air horn with a grin. The gnomes scrambles back to the forest as fast as their little legs could carry.

And finally, its over.

Both exhausted, mentally and physically, the twins released a tired breath before taking a seat on a nearby bench. For a moment, Marble was carefully choosing his next words before sighing. "Look, sis, I'm sorry. If only I knew Norman was a bunch of gnome jerks."

Dipper simply smiled at her twin. "Look bro, no need to be sorry on everything. Well, for the most part anyway; I've been too caught up on my books too much lately, you were just looking out for me. If anyone's here at fault, it should be me."

"What? No way sis! You were this close to being a gnome queen because of me!"

His twin simply shrugs. "Guess thats what I get for being non-conforming, but hey, we both made mistakes here."

Marble felt the weigh of guilt lift off his chest, only one thing was missing. "Awkward sibling hug?" He offered, opening his arms wide.

"Awkward sibling hug." Dipper smiled and gives her brother one tight hug.

"Pat pat," they said in unison, patting each other in the back.

* * *

"Yeesh. You two got hit by a bus or somethin'? Aha!" Stan laughed at his own joke, watching his great nibblings enter the room with disheveled looks. The kids just gave him an unamused stare before making their way upstairs, back at their room for a good nights sleep.

The old man bit his lip, suddenly he felt bad. "Um, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentaly overstocked some inventory, so, how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

Now he gets their attention, "Really?" Marble beamed.

"What's the catch?" Dipper asked suspiciously, a nice Stan is a very dangerous Stan.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind."

Yup, thats Grunkle Stan alright.

Dipper looks around checkng the merchandise, these are not actually that bad. She stops right in front of a mirror, where she can see her messy brown hair littered with leaves, suddenly feeling self conscious, she cleans her head off. From the corner of her eye, she spots a blue trucker's hat with a blue pine tree motif on the white forehead in the corner. Perfect. She puts on the cap and faces herself in the mirror. Hm. That oughta do the trick!

"And I will have a... Grappling Hook!" Marble proclaimed, helding out grappling hook.

"Wouldn't he rather have, like, a bat, or something?" Stan asked Dipper, who shrugged. Typical boys stuff and Marble are two diffrent things.

Testing out his new toy, he fires off the hook into the ceiling before getting pulled up. He somehow latch himself on a support column " Grappling hook!" this kids a natural.

"Fair enough."

* * *

_DIPPER&MABEL'S ROOM_

* * *

After what might possibly the longest first day of summer in their lives, the twins are finally able to enjoy a good nights sleep on their beds. Marble is still busy spending the excess energy, hopping and playing around with his grappling hook, Dipper, on the other hand, is busy making her very first entry on the journal. She turns around watching her brother with a smile. The journal told her that there was no one in Gravity Falls she could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side, you realize that they've always got your back.

Marble fires off impaling one of his plushies, reeling it back he turns to his sister with a smile.

"Hey, Marble, could you get the light?"

"I'm on it!" Aiming at his target, he fires knocking the lamp out of the window literally turning the lights out. The twins shared a playful laugh.

"Good night Marble."

"Good night Dip."

"Hey Marble."

"Yeah sis?"

"Marble The Matchmaker's over, right?"

Marble paused.

"Marble!"

* * *

Doublechecking to see that the coast is clear, Stan approached the soda machine encoding a combination in the number pad. The machine lits back to life, before moving aside revealing a hidden staircase. Entering, the old man takes one last glance in the gift shop, before he finally disappears, the machine going back to its place.

* * *

Whew, now that's a wrap.

Do you like it?

-Yes

-Definitely

-Absolutely

Either way, review plz. As always, constructive criticisms are welcomed. Especially for an amateur like me.

So furthermore.

I kinda went ooc with Marble here, but hey. I'm pretty sure Male Mabel would exert some more "Alpha Twin" when his sister is concerned. He is more than Mabel with testosterone.

Till then, see you next chapter.


	3. What-lurks-beneath Part 1

Man, it's been a while folks, but here ya havit it. Chappie 3! Thank you so much for the positive review ya all!

Beta-Reading thanks to the ever amazing **Aqua Burst 07**

I don't own Gravity Falls.

* * *

_?_

* * *

Dipper could honestly say, based on the last 13 minutes and 32 seconds that this was the most underwhelming day she had this summer.

Grunkle Stan cut off work today to rope them on some quality family bonding time, saying something about this day being Family Fun Day. Normally it sounds great considering summer is still fresh around the corner, but having a "family bonding time" on Stan's book never seems to end without breaking a law or two.

The last "bonding time" the Pines family had, they counterfeited money together in one of Stan's many hideouts. They almost were sent to jail!

Dipper wouldn't make the same mistake again, but the look of genuine excitement the old man's face had this morning, tells her that he really seems determined to do something right, something legal, for the sake of bonding with his great nibblings this summer.

How could she say no? And after that little fiasco with those creepy gnomes back in the forest (she could still feel the soft fabric of that wedding dress they made her wear), she could really use some fresh air. Marble was a quick one to woo along; the twins are both beaming with excitement to see what their Great-Uncle/Conman has in store for them.

That is until Stan told them to put on the blindfolds and get into his car.

And here she is, sitting on the backseat of the infamous Stanmobile, with nothing to see thanks to her blindfold, and nothing else to trust except for Stan's reckless driving.

Occasionally the car would suddenly swerve and bump making the twins in the passenger seat bounce, and every time it happens, the girl regrets her decision of coming along more and more. It didn't help that Marble seems to be the only one enjoying this.

Ugh, blindfolds never lead to anything good.

The car hit something, causing her to yelp. She hugged her knees closer.

"G-G-Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" she asked.

The old man gave a hearty laugh, as if he wasn't trying to give her a heart attack with his driving. "No, but with these cataracts I might as well be….. What is that a woodpecker?" He narrows his eyes to see.

It was a "Sharp Curve" sign; Stan doesn't realize that till he crashes through, going straight to the forest, triggering the human air horn that is Dipper Pines.

Stan and Marble's ears still hurt for the next 5 minutes.

* * *

_DESTINATION_

* * *

The car finally stops, much to Dipper's utter delight. Stan leads the twins out of the car, still on their blindfolds.

"Alright, open em' up!"

They removed their blindfolds, finally being able to see for the first time for several minutes. Dipper knew this place, no doubt about it, the Gravity Falls lake. Surrounded with steep cliffs and always covered by the ever thick fog, the entire place was shrouded with mystery.

"Tada! It's fishing season!" Stan proclaimed, raising his arms.

For some reason, he was now wearing a white polo shirt paired with a gray vest, coupled with dark shorts and a pair of equally dark boots. His fez has been replaced with a fishing hat.

"Fishing season?" Marble wondered.

"What are you playin' at old man." Dipper said, arching a brow at this.

"You're gonna love it! The whole towns out here!"

Stan turns around to stare at the sight before him, enjoying the view. Dipper takes a look at the lake and she has to say, the townspeople sure looks like they're having fun, in their own eccentric way that is.

There's an old lady fishing on a boat waving a frying pan, a man falling on the lake losing his catch with a camera flash, a buff lumberjack catching a fish with his hands before pile driving it.

Oh, the fun he and the kids will have.

"Grunkle Stan, why are you trying to bond with us all of a sudden? And fishing of all things?" Dipper crossed her arms with a frown.

"What? Is it so much for me to ask to have some fun time with my great nibblings?"

"Hey Dip, you think Keanu Reeves is in here somewhere?" Marble asked, playfully nudging her with his elbow.

Dipper glared at him. "No Marble, we do not speak of that movie again!"

"What movie?" Stan asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh the one wi-" That's all Marble could say before his sister's hand clamps his mouth shut. The old man just stares at the kids in confusion.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" a voice wailed out.

The Pines turns around to see an Old Man wailing hysterically, running around overturning tables and knocking some poor guy's sandwich. He has a long orange nose with warts like Stan, and a very long beard that reaches down his feet. Wearing brown pajamas and a scarecrows hat, this guy is the textbook definition of the town's old kook.

"The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" he yelled, standing in the middle of the crowd and proceeds to dance.

Dipper felt a slight pang in her heart watching the old man, she was never a stranger to this – as her brother unintentionally exhibits it at times – but this is just a whole new level, like borderline desperation. But it didn't surprise her really, with a man that old going to lengths like these is sadly common, where is this old man's family?

"Aw, he's doing the happy jig!" Marble cooed; leave it to him to see the light in everything. The old man suddenly grabs the boy's shoulders.

"NOOO! It's a jig of grave danger!" He yelled, shaking the boy.

"Hey, Hey!"

A brown haired middle aged man came out of the lodge holding a garden spray. He is wearing a faded olive polo shirt and unnecessarily high brown pants with black shoes with an olive baseball cap that strangely obscures his eyes. And is it just her, or does those two share a slight resemblance with each other, especially in the nose.

The man sprays at the old kook as if he's shooing away a stray. "Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!"

So this guys actually his son? Sounds like those two had a rocky history.

"I've got proof this time, by gummity!"

The old man leads his son and the crowd to the docks. "BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it!" He proclaimed, pointing to a boat wrecked in half.

Now Dipper is intrigued, she mentally cursed herself for not bringing the journal with her.

"It had a long neck like a gee-raffe!" He described, raising his arms for emphasis.

"And wrinkly skin like…..like this gentleman right here!"

He points to Stan, who was busy picking his ear. Dipper could already imagine how horrifying this thing would look like.

"Huh?"

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!" The old man yelled the last part as loud as he could and tugs desperately at his son's arm.

"Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" A officer in a nearby Ranger Point joked.

The crowd burst out laughing, much to the old man's humiliation, and his son just shakes his head in shame. Dipper suddenly felt hot anger rise up to her chest, they could just ignore the old man and get on their business but nooo they just have to make it a joke to laugh at.

"Shut up!" She blurted out loud without thinking, silencing everyone around and looks at her in disbelief.

She flushed and pulls her hat and vest to cover her face, unused to all the attention. The awkward silence last for a few seconds before the immature officer earlier cleared his throat.

"Alright people you heard the kid, go back to your business or what so ever." He announced, and the crowd soon dispersed. He too was flushing, apparently due to being snapped by a kid on his callousness. He tips his hat off before resuming patrol.

The man who Dipper recognizes as the old man's son pats her head.

"Thanks kid, if only I can still see things your way." He tips his hat at her, glancing one last time at his father before leaving.

"Aw, donkey shpittle! Aw banjo polish!" The old man muttered leaving, seeing as no one would listen to him now, Dipper watches him in pity.

"Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out to that lake!" Stan announced excitedly, hopping on to his old worn out fishing boat dubbed thee 'Stan-o-War'.

Dipper never had any fond memories with that boat. When the twins were younger, Marble and Stan would steer the boat to the middle of the lake just to crack jokes about some Loch Ness monster coming out to eat her, and she would be gripping on the hull shaking the entire time. Needless to say, she'll do everything possible not to set foot in this boat again. Maybe that's what the blindfolds are about all along? Recalling on what the old man said earlier an idea pops into her head.

"Marble! Did you hear what the old dude said?" She excitedly asked.

"Aw, donkey shpittle!" Marble replied with his best kooky redneck impression.

"The other thing. About that monster." She pulls out the latest issue of WACKY NEWS magazine from her vest, flipping to the right page showing it to her brother.

* * *

MONSTER PHOTO CONTEST

WIN $ 1000

* * *

"If we can snag a photo of it we can split the prize 50-50!"

Marble gasped. "That's two fifties!" One of the smartest things he'd ever said.

"Imagine what you can do with five. Hundred. Dollars!" Oh the possibilities.

For a moment, Marble sees himself inside a five-hundred-dollar worth of human sized hamster ball, rubbing it to the face of a nearby hamster.

"Marble! Marble?" Dipper snaps her fingers on her brother's dazed face; she should have known Marble would get carried away.

Marble finally snaps out of it. "Dippy, I am one million percent aboard in this!"

"Grunkle Stan! Change of plans: were taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Dipper said, placing an arm around her Grunkle who was untying the boat's knots. She ignores the shudder she felt being this near on the boat.

"Monster Hunt! Monster Hunt!" The twins chanted in unison.

A very loud honk can be heard, turning around, they see Soos approaching them steering a far more superior fishing boat dubbed thee' SS AWESOME DUDE'.

"Now that's what I call a fishing boat." Dipper cheered, Stan huffed and resumes untying the knots.

"Soos!" Marble beamed seeing one of his best buddy.

"Wassup hambone!" The two boys shared a fist bump making explosion noises upon contact.

"Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff." The handyman said, although with a hint of smugness as he pats the side his boat.

"All right, all right. Let's think this through." Stan interjected.

"Look Dipper, I know you and this boat has some rocky 'history' together or what not, but not this time. I meant what I said about me being the best summer caretaker I could this morning. I'll let you guys steer the motor this time!" He smiled and held out his hands invitingly.

The twins take a moment to consider.

OPTION A: Embark on an epic monster hunt on board the SS COOL DUDE with a chance to win one-thousand-dollars.

OPTION B: Spent 10 hours with Grunkle Stan learning to tediously tie knots and skewer poor innocent worms to be cruelly fed to the fish…. And there's that joke book.

"So whaddya' say!" Stan smiled confidently with his eyes closed, expecting to hear a 'Yay!' or 'Cool Grunkle Stan', instead he hears a loud honk.

He opens his eyes only to see his great nibblings and Soos boarding the SS COOL DUDE making their way to Scuttlebutt Island.

"We made the right choice!" Marble cheered.

"Ingrates!" He roared, holding out a fist.

"Aw, who needs 'em? I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company."

The fishing lures just stares at him with those cold lifeless, soulless eyes. The Old Man couldn't help but cringe and hastily snaps the box shut.

* * *

_SS COOL DUDE_

* * *

Truth to be told, Dipper is having a ball right now.

Standing on the front hull of a speeding fishing boat, enjoying the feel of rushing air, it feels like she's emulating Captain Ahab on his quest to hunt the great white whale Moby Dick. All she needs is some prosthetic leg to complete the picture, but no, she's not gonna' go down the same way as him. Ahab may be one of her favorite heroes, but she's got a family to go home for or a crazy Grunkle for that matter.

Still, his determination and commitment is something to be commended on a different perspective.

She sure felt bad, it seems her Grunkle was really serious about making up with her after all those years of terror, but this was too good of an opportunity to pass, and they're gonna win that prize money.

She'll make it up to him when this is over, but in the meantime-

"Hoist the anchor!" She ordered with her best pirate accent.

Soos pulls out a cinderblock anchor.

"Raise the flag!"

Marble proudly waves a towel. "Were gonna' find that Gobblewonker!"

"Were gonna win that photo contest!"

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" Soos interjected.

Marble gasped. "Your right dude, we can't have Dippy's skin get ruined. Not when she's still single!"

"Shut up Marble."

With that, the boat makes a u-turn towards dry land.

None of the passengers notice a strange shape swimming beneath the water.

* * *

_FEW MINUTES LATER_

* * *

Med kits-check, Life Buoys-check, Flashlights-Check, Gasoline-Check, Dipper made sure to cover every nook and cranny if they're gonna' do it right. Marking out any possible loophole before it becomes a hindrance. This is more than just winning that prize money.

Watching the humiliation the old man suffered earlier really killed her on the inside, if somehow they manage to actually snap a picture of this 'Gobblewonker', not only are they gonna be able to win one-thousand-dollars, but prove to those people that the old kook is not as unhinged as everyone makes him out to be. Then all the jokes and insult would finally stop for good. If that means people will finally respect him, she'll do it. Even if that means going to foggy Island in the middle of the lake that hasn't been visited in years, or ditching her Great-Uncle who has been looking forward for a good time with them for some Monster Photo Contest.

She'd seen enough monster hunting movies to work around the clichés. The dumbest one happens to be the 'Camera Crisis', she remembers nearly throwing the chair at family TV out of frustration when the hero finally hunts down bigfoot, only to realize his camera has run out of films. She wouldn't make the same mistake on this one.

But no, she didn't bring Marble's high quality 'Kiss Cam' along - not the fact that she utterly despises it for some reason - she's going for the cheap disposable ones. Seventeen of those to be exact, so that when Marble throws one at a bird, or Soos just throws three overboard for no reason, and she accidentally smashes one, they would still have twelve left. Which is exactly what happened seconds ago much to her frustration.

They're dealing with an unknown variable here, and she's not taking any chances when finally figuring out what this creature can do, the chances of loss is always present and ever high.

"Alright! I'll be captain!" Her brother declared proudly.

"What! Why do you get to be captain?" She protested.

"Of course it would the Alpha-twin Dippy! Yerr Captain Marble will be taking things from here! Can't have me lovely sister in the frontlines chasin' some lake monster!" He spoke with a pirate accent. Standing in the front part of the hull, Marble pulls out his grappling gun and waves it towards their island of destination.

"Your bros got a point Dip, maybe you should leave the testosterone work to us, you're already good at your niche as it is." Soos added.

Dipper looks like she has more to say, then she just sighed and makes her way to the main deck.

"Fine." She grumbled, not that she didn't appreciate it, it's just one big killjoy on her part.

"Aww, no need to be down sis! Here, I've brought someone along!" Marble enters for the cockpit before coming out carrying- oh no.

"Tada! Its Bear-O!" Marble spoke to this stuff of horrors like it's some cute cuddly bunny, when in reality its nothing more than a teddy bear with a nightmare inducing Glasgow smile.

Dipper 'eeped' when Marble promptly pushes Bear-O in to her face.

"Why would you bring that thing along!?" She shrieked pushing the creepy looking teddy bear away.

"Awww, you don't like Bear-O sis? He's so awesome!"

"No, no, Bear-O's creepy!"

* * *

_SCUTTLEBUTT ISLAND_

* * *

"When I was one, I sucked my thumb, the day I went to sea. I climbed aboard a pirate ship and the captain said to me." Marble sang along the way, with Soos providing some back up whistling in the background.

"We're going this way, that way, forwards backwards, Over the Irish sea! Come on sing along sis!" Dipper smiles at them.

"A bottle of rum to fill my turn, a pirates life for me!" She happily sings along.

Trudging through the foggy part of the lake, the ship promptly makes a stop causing the passengers to lose their balance. Dipper was the first one to recover and takes a look around.

Scuttlebutt Island was everything Dipper would expect, steep cliffs with lots of Pine trees shrouded by the very thick fog, and for some reason a totem pole can be seen nearby. And here she thought Shuttle Island was creepy.

"Land Ho!" Soos yelled. Marble hops down excitedly, Dipper followed after holding a lantern.

"Here we are Sis! Just stay behind me, there might be gnomes here or something." The energetic boy cautiously looks around.

Dipper shuddered."Please Marble, don't mention those guys to me ever again."

With that, the twins and Soos make their way to the forest.

* * *

_SCUTTLEBUTT FOREST_

* * *

Dipper tensed up. Oh god it's like back at first day all over again! If the forest back at the Mystery Shack was the creepiest place she had ever been, this one is a whole new story. Taller Trees that seems to be watching them and a fog so thick that the lantern could only get them see five feet farther.

"You scared Dip?" Marble asked his sister, grinning cheekily; she looks completely tense this whole time, glancing around back in forth with restless eyes.

"Yeah right, takes more than this to rattle me." Dipper replied, trying to sound as brave as she could, suddenly some possum runs between them and she squeaks nearly dropping the lantern.

Marble just shakes his head and offers his hand.

"Hold my hand sis." She does, no, more like clings on it.

"No need to be scared, brosephs here with you." Marble assured his sister, hearing those words seems to ease Dipper a bit. Her brother holds the lantern himself and the group continue in their trek.

Later, they came across a sign in the middle of the forest, SCUTTLEBUTT ISLAND written on it.

"Dude check it out." Soos covered SCUTTLE with his left arm. "Butt Island!"

Marble laughed at his joke. "Soos, you rapscallion!" He said, playfully punching the older man's shoulder. Dipper rolled her eyes at the childish humor.

"Awww, why aren't you laughing, sis?" Marble asked, noting the sour look at Dipper's face.

"Aren't we monster hunting right now?" She crossed her arms with a frown.

"Just try to have fun, you're already tense enough as it is."

"No I'm not!" Dipper denied, flushing.

A loud howl echoed through the forest, making the paranoid girl squeak and hugs her brother tightly. Marble narrows his eyes and glances around placing an arm over his sister protectively.

"Dude, did you just hear that?" Soos asked skeptically, looking around in worry.

Whatever it is, no animal or human is capable of doing it. Then it only means one thing.

"We're close." Dipper muttered to herself.

The possum Dipper recognizes earlier comes out and snatches the lantern with its teeth, much to the girl's horror.

"Oh no! Our lantern!" Was all she could say before the little rodent vanished into the thick fog along with their only source of light.

"Dang, now we can't see anything." Marble cursed.

"Dude, I don't know man, I don't think it's worth it." With their lantern gone, Soos was finally having doubts about this.

"Not worth it!?" Dipper protested, suddenly shaking off all the paranoia she was feeling for the past few minutes. "Guys, this is more than just a photo contest. This is about giving the old man back at the docks some justice!"

"You mean old man McGucket? Last time I check that dudes dating a raccoon." Soos recalled.

"Maybe I am being overly sympathetic, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. But I'm not just gonna sit around watching some people make fun of an old man just because he wants some attention from his son." Dipper declared with renewed vigor. Fear be damned, she's doing this for a cause.

"Sis' right Soos, seeing those guys laughing at him earlier sucks major butt." Marble nods sharing his twin's sentiment.

Soos looks at the twins for a moment, touched by their kindness. "I am so proud of you two." He dramatically wipes a tear from his eye, he arms himself with a camera. "Alright! Let's do this then!"

"Yeah!" The twins cheered in unison.

Armed with their cameras and steely resolve, the trio now delves deeper into the forest.

* * *

"My name is Marble! It rhymes with table! It also rhymes with….. glabel! It also rhymes with shamble!" Marble rapped, Soos was backing him up doing some beat box in the background.

"Dude we should be writing this down."

Dipper suddenly stops in her tracks. "Guys guys, you hear something?"

It was that same haunting howl earlier, only louder causing a flock of crows to flee.

The twins beam. "This is it! This is it!" They cheered, punching playfully with each other making their way towards the sound.

"Yes yes yeas! Hoo hoo hoo!" Soos picks up a sharp pointed stick and follows along.

Walking through the fog, what they see made them stop in their tracks. There it is! They could see an outlandish silhouette that shares a resemblance to the infamous Loch Ness monster. The group instinctively ducks behind a log.

"Everyone, get your cameras ready!" Dipper ordered. Soos holds his camera tightly while Marble readies his grappling gun.

"Ready? GO!"

Soos charges head on first, holding the camera infront of him snapping as much pictures as he could, with the twin's following him from behind.

As they get closer, the silhouette actually turns out to be a wrecked ship, much to their utter dissapointment. On top of it were a couple of beavers, doing beaver things in an everyday beaver's life.

"But... What was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!" Dipper wondered out loud.

Then it was that howl again, the group turns towards the source only to find a beaver playing with a chainsaw.

"Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!" Soos snaps a photo of it.

"Maybe that old guys crazy after all." Dipper concedes, all this work, all that prep, all for nothing.

"He did use the word 'scrapdoodle'." Marble noted, Dipper just sighed, too tired to even reply. She makes her way towards the lake, sitting on a nearby rock in the middle of the water.

"What are we gonna say to Grunkle Stan, we ditch him over nothing." She muttered to herself, throwing pebbles to vent out her frustraion.

The guilt she felt earlier went back ten-fold, if they had just choose to spend the day with him then this whole seven hours wouldn't be such a waste instead.

She stares at her reflection in the water for a few minutes, coming with up some way to apologize to their Great-Uncle. Much to her surprise, the rock she's been sitting on suddenly submerges, Dipper hurriedly swims back at land with Marble and Soos pulling her up.

The group takes a moment to comprehend on what they sees. Here it is, right in front of them, seven hours of build up leading to this; the fabled Gobblewonker.

All Dipper can see is its scaly green tail resembling a Spinosaurus swimming around in circles. She quickly whips out her camera and starts snapping pictures at it, only stopping when she notices Soos and Marble aren't doing the same.

"Guys, this is it! What are you doing?" She asked, the boys only backs away nervously.

"Um, Dipper." Marble points a shaky finger behind her.

"Come on, its not that hard. Just point and shoot." She didn't notice the looming shadow behind her.

"Just point and shoot." She repeats, turning around with her camera ready for another snap.

She wasn't ready to see the Gobblewonker - tall as a gee-raffe and as wrinkly as Stan - standing in all it's glory staring right at her with its soulless yellow eyes. She drops her camera as the girl and the monster opens their mouths simultaneously-

Forget the photo contest, Dipper could give this thing a run for its money in a screaming contest.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED

* * *

Whew, no that was over. What do you think?

I kinda went back in forth in rewriting this, then I figured, the canon episode is already as solid enough as it is.

Reviews and Constructive criticisms will be appreciated.

Till then I'll be watching youuuuu, I'll beeeeee waaaaaatching youuuuuuu.


	4. What-lurks-beneath Part 2

randomfandom - Duuuude your ideas are friggin awesome! The thing is, as much as I love reviews, I'd stongly advise ya to personally PM me for those, starting an account here in FFN is quick and easy. Cuz I can read it, and so can other people. But yeah thanks. Don't ya worry, though I've already got the things ahead laid out, there's still room for changes.

Well it has been nearly-almost-dead-but-not-quite for quite some time. But here ya go~

A huge thank you for Aqua Burst 07 for the awsome beta read.

Don't own Gravity Falls.

* * *

GRAVITY_FALLS_LAKE_2005

* * *

"Hey guys, wanna' hear a joke?" A young five year and minute old Marble asked, standing on the front of the fishing boat sporting a huge brace filled grin.

Dipper clung onto the boat, too afraid to say anything.

"Alright, shoot." Stan coaxed with a playful smirk, sitting on the middle portion with his right elbow resting on his knee.

"Alright, here goes; why should the Dipper just stay on the boat?"

* * *

GRAVITY_FALLS_LAKE_2012

* * *

So she wouldn't come up with some stupid harebrained idea of chasing down a supposedly mythical lake monster for the sake snapping a photo of it for 1000$, and to salvage what was left of a kuku old man's dignity, not realizing that a.) She brought no sun block, b.) Marble would bring Bear-O -of all things- along, and c.) This monster they're after is fast, really, really fast, and can actually walk around Scuttlebutt Island completely denying her gang of the chance of planning their next move. Not that Dipper wants to stay in that creepy island any longer. The monster chased the group across the island, leading them back to the S.S COOL DUDE docked in the island's shore.

"Oh my god! It's coming!"

"Step on it, Soos!"

"On it, Hambone!" Soos called out, working through the boats controls with frantic yet experience ease.

The engine roars back to life, and the S.S COOL DUDE gradually retreats away face front from the eerie island. The fishing boat makes some considerable distance away, leaving the monstrous Gobblewonker standing on the shore with its sharp toothed mouth hanging and-Dipper really needs to stop staring at those eyes, she's gonna' have nightmares on it for weeks.

On the other hand, it made a perfect opportune moment for a snapshot.

"Cracked Lens!?" Dipper shrieked as she stared at her only camera left. But no matter, least Soos still has ten left.

Said handyman is too preoccupied throwing his' away, there goes one, and another, followed by another. If he could just somehow manage to hit this lake monster with these cameras, it should be enough to drive it away. Soos logic.

"What are you doing!?" The girl yelled hysterically, clutching the sides of her head.

"Oh, I still got one left; don't worry, girl-dude!"

Soos threw his one last precious cheap disposable camera onto the boats frame smashing it to pieces, along with her hopes of winning the photo contest.

With all the commotion on the boats occupants, the Gobblewonker didn't waste any moment and quickly dived into the murky water going after the retreating fishing boat, resurfacing seconds later with its monstrous lanky neck letting out a guttural growl resembling that of a dragon. The monster's jaws suddenly reached out for a bite, but the boat proved to be too fast and missed the snapping of two huge sets of fangs.

"Go, go, go, go, go!" Dipper shouted at Soos, who quickly steered the wheel turning the boat away from the monster. The boat revs up, motor accelerating the fishing boat on an impressive speed; but the Gobblewonker isn't giving up on its prey anytime soon, instigating a frantic goose chase.

"Soos! Beavers!" Dipper yelled.

It was those little furry friends again, sitting on top of the wrecked ship that had them fooled earlier. And they're still beavers. The boat comes crashing through, and the brown haired critters started raining upon them. The little guys aren't too happy with having their little playground wrecked, as they promptly started gnawing and clawing every parts and passengers on the fishing boat.

"Ahh, they got my sweater!" Marble yelped, flailing his arms around trying to pry off a beaver, this cute, and fluffy, dot eyed critter which happens to be gnawing his masterpiece that is, the red sweater he spent weeks knitting. Too stubborn, Marble doesn't have a choice and pried the poor little guy off and swatted away another beaver biting on top of his sister's head. Seeing as Soos is too busy taking off a beaver hugging his face and running around in circles, the brown haired boy resumed full Captain Mode quickly manning the wheel.

"Dipper, get in here!" Marble called out his sister, who is busy pulling a beaver off its feet from gnawing the side hull of the boat.

"What? No, we still haven't-" Dipper tried to protest, but her brother cut her off.

"Not now, sis!"

Her brother's tone leaves no room for argument; the girl couldn't help but comply, at times like these there's no reasoning with Marble.

The monster was still hot on their tail; if possible it looked even angrier than ever before for being delayed of its lunch for far too long, it proved to have a certain level of intelligence as it ingenuously swipes its head on to the boat hull making ample damages, methodologically nipping this fast fishing vessel away make-do part by make-do part.

"Bear-O, what should we do?" Captain Marble asked, steering the wheel.

First Mate Bear-O sat beside him, and still with that creepy smile it always wore.

"Genius Bear-O!" Marble suddenly yelled, as if the stuffed bear gave him this brilliant idea midst in their current predicament.

"Marble, what are you doing?" a very confused Dipper asked, crouching besides the steering wheel. Her brother, suddenly, steps out of the cockpit and readies his grappling gun. And then it dawned to her. "Wait, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Marble simply gave her a smirk and nods, and without warning, shots a grappling hook hitting straight onto the monster's left eye.

"Oh my god! That's not what I'm thinking!"

"It's not?" Mable said, confused.

The Gobblewonker reels back, letting out a loud roar and trashes its head around before completely submerging. The S.S COOL DUDE takes the chance and speeds away as much as it could.

"Oh, never mind."

Dipper sighed and slowly takes a seat, only to slowly move away realizing she's 2 feet near a particular macabre teddy bear. It takes a full minute to calm her yammering heart, completely pumped more than it should be with all these adrenaline in the past few minutes. Despite all this, she couldn't help but feel some perverse disappointment of losing sights on their Gobblewonker. So much for adventure with a cause...

"Phew! Thought were gonna' be goners for good at the moment there." Soos said, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "Man, Abuelita's gonna kill me if we wreck grandpa's ship for good."

"Hooray Soos! We're alive!" Marble cheered, and the two boys shared a playful fist bump. "And it wouldn't possible without the great help from our dear old friend, Bear-O." He cooed, pointing towards said teddy bear lying idly in the corner. Dipper rolled her eyes.

"Well, that happened." The twelve-year-old brunette slowly stands up, dusting off her vest. "Still bugged we didn't get a snap though, least were still here in one piece."

"So what's next, sis?" Marble asked his sister.

"Hmm, let's see." There's Stan, a guilty smile graced across Dipper's face at the thought of what her Grunkle is doing himself, seeing as his own family ditched him for something stupid as this."I say we—"

Dipper didn't get to finish, as the Gobblewonker instantly reappeared right beneath them. The boat was sent flipping mid air, sending the passengers toppling over before miraculously placing back into the water, completely upright as it supposed to be.

Soos didn't waste any moment and quickly mans the wheel, and the boat quickly accelerates as the monster resumes chasing them.

"Any of you dudes alright?" The handyman asked out loud, turning around he sees Marble gripping the side of the rear, a look of horror on the boy's unusually pale face, then it dawned to him.

"Where's Dipper?"

* * *

_?_

* * *

It was cold, dark and straining, Dipper could feel a slight pain in her ears as they pop.

It took five seconds for Dipper to fully realize, she's seven feet deep in the Gravity Falls lake water. A strangled gasped escaped her lips as bubbles of air comes out. Panic and survival instincts kicking in, the girl tries to swim to the surface till she feels a slight tug. Looking down, her eyes widen as she she sees a long seaweed tied up in her left leg.

A growing feeling of despair rises up to her chest as she desperately tries to tear the plant off, but alas, it proves to be too strong for her noodle arms. Dipper could feel her lungs burning, the pain in her chest searing as her consciousness slowly drifts away.

The last thing she saw, moments before she went out, was a long scaly emerald tail, and a long mop of dark brown hair.

* * *

_¿_

* * *

Dipper slowly stirred as she regained consciousness, eyes still closed, the first thing she felt was the cold hard stone against her back, and a something soft and warm presses against her forehead.

"Voy a verte de nuevo, Señorita." She hears a deep Hispanic voice spoked, and something rans through her hair.

She faintly tries to recall everything, first there's this monster hunt, followed by a monster chase, and then she's drowning.

Dipper's eyes snapped wide open as she quickly helped herself up with her noodle arms, her frantic brown eyes making a quick look around her.

She's alone, as if the source of that mysterious voice and her probable savior just vanished into thin air, leaving her alone in what appears to be a subterranean cave, with looming stalactites adorning the ceiling and the unmistakable sound of running water.

Dipper barely manage to stand up as a speeding red braced ball of boundless energy tackled her into the ground, the girl practically yelp when it quickly enveloped her in a tight sugary hug that had her gasping for air on the second time of the day.

"Dipper!" A very hysterical Marble yelled, clutching onto his sister's soft frame as hard as he could. "Oh my god! I thought, I thought we've lost you-" Was all the energetic boy managed to let out before dissolving into a blubbering sobbing mess as he hugged his sister tighter.

'I'm so glad to see you too Marble!'-"Bro! Air!" Was all Dipper managed to say as she patted her brother's back.

"Oh, sorry Dip." Marble sniffed apologetically wiping his eyes, quickly letting go of Dipper before helping her up on her feet.

"Where's Soos?" The brown haired girl asked.

"Hey Dipper! Over here!" Soos called out from afar, Dipper looked behind her brother and saw the handyman waving towards them.

"Soos! Your okay!"

"Same here dude! Boy you had us worried, Bear-O said your dead." Soos said.

"Yeah, Bear-O is a big fat liar." Marble said, glaring at Bear-O sitting on a nearby rock, the teddy bear gave a not-so innocent smile in reply.

With the nonsensical accusations amongst the boys, Dipper remembers something.

"Wait, what happened to the Gobblewonker?" As if on cue, an all too familiar roar echoed throughout the cavern making the girl squeak, turning around, it was the menacing lake monster. Gone was the terrifying aura that sent them running for their lives moments ago, even though the huge claws and those... eyes still gives her the chills, seeing the supposed ferocious Gobblewonker which now had half of its body stuck in the cave entrance, too small to fit its massive belly, even a scaredy-kitty (As Marble would call her at times) like Dipper would found the whole situation to be unbelievably absurd. "Um, how?"

"Well sis, to start, sorry for not saving you in your little 'Dip' in the lake, the monster kept on chasing us after." Marble explained to his sister. "There's actually a hidden passage behind the waterfall and then - Bam!- we had it stucked, and then we found you."

Dipper stared at the trashing monster, before her eyes lit up. "Marble this is great! We had it where we want it to be, now all we need is, is..." Her voiced slowly trailed off. "Aw who am I kidding, were out of disposable cams." She slumped. She should've known seventeen disposable cameras wouldn't be enough.

"Uhg, I should've brought eighteen instead." Dipper groaned, visibly facepalming.

Fate has its way of screwing with her at times; she would never get that carrot, no matter how near it dangled in front of her.

But maybe not this time, as Dipper suddenly hears an unmistakable sound of a camera flash.

Looking up, she see's Marble, and the last thing she'd expected to see in his hands.

The Canon EOS 5D MARK III -somehow still functional with the tremendous amount of glitter haphazardly decorating it all over- also known by many back at home, as the infamous Kiss Cam. How could their parents give her brother something as expensive such as this for his weird shenanigans is beyond her.

Yet, she was never been more grateful to see the despicable object just this once at times like these.

Marble himself is having fun, never wasting a moment as he takes snap by snap, eager to make as much pictures as he could.

"Are they good ones?" Dipper's excitement rosed up with her voice as she asked.

"They're all good ones!" The brown haired twins cheered as they share a hug.

The happy moment abruptly interrupted as the trashing Gobble suddenly stopped, courtesy of a giant stalactite dropping right on top of it, rendering it out of consciousness for some reason. What makes it strange however, was the sound of static electricity and malfunctioning machinery that followed after.

"Um, what the...?"

"Stay here, sis." Marble said, jumping on top of the now motionless monster's fin.

"Be careful, Marble." His sister called out. Marble gaves her a nod and proceeds to climb on the monster's side, all the way to its broad scaly back.

"What is it, dude?" Soos called out loud.

A hatch, Marble didn't waste any moment and quickly opens it.

"Work the bellows and the... Eh? Aww, banjo polish!"

Its him, Marble couldn't remember his name, the old man that had Dipper going on this crazy hunt in the first place, it appears to be a cockpit, as huge computer screens and various varied controls being operated by a supposedly crazy old man.

"Who is it Marble-" Dipper soon followed after her brother, only to stop momentarily upon seeing the old man. "W-w-wait, its you? You made all this!?"

"Well, I...I uh...I just wanted attention." Old Man McGucket muttered ashamed.

Dipper wanted to be angry, she really do, all those prep and hours wasted, all those agonizing minutes she endured near Bear-O, she was even this close to drowning if it probably weren't for her mysterious savior. Yet her heart broke upon hearing the old man's words, all she could do is to pinch the bridge of her nose in shame.

"So you build this, giant, Robo-Nessy Doohickey robut-"

"Robot." Dipper corrected.

"robot, or whatever just to get your son to notice you?" Marble arched a brow.

"Well in retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the lengths us old-timers go through for a little quality time with their family."

That hit a nerve.

The Pines boy flinched, while his twin sister sighed and slumped.

"So much for the photo contest." Dipper muttered as she stared at Marble's Kiss Cam in her hands.

An old man doing everything he can just to have this one chance of spending time with his family, sounds painfully familiar.

Its back, the guilt she felt earlier, now more pronounced than before.

"Well sis, there's still tons of film left, whaddya gonna do about it?" Marble asked.

Well she has a few things in mind, involving a certain Conman

* * *

STAN_'O'_WAR

* * *

Stan Pines sure is having fun, ruining marriage proposals, awkwardly bothering some random kids he came across, even having a run-in with the lake police actually proves to be rather elightening just to vent out the frustration because his two great nibblings ditched him hours ago.

Family Fun Day they say, fun for the whole family they say.

No more Nessy jokes. Was the first thing he said to himself this morning. Sorta. No more conning, just this once, he can't screw this up. But the kids already did it for him.

But then he reminded himself. Who was he kidding? He totally had this one coming for all the crap he'd put them through. Still doesn't make this any less depressing though. Stan sighed.

A blinding flash suddenly came and the old man flinched.

"What the-Kids?"

"Hey Stan! Havin' fun?" Dipper teased, waving around the mosntrosity that is the glittery pink cam she's holding. His great niece and nephew along with Soos and whatever that teddy bear is waved at him from the wrecked S.S COOL DUDE, before hopping on to his boat.

"Yesh, what happened to your shirt?" Stan asked Soos, seeing the handymans ruined shirt.

"Long story, dude."

"Is that so?" Stan grumbled, trying to sound disinterested, yet he couldn't help the barest hint of happiness in his voice now that they're here.

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a 'legendary' dinosaur~" Dipper stated.

"But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here." Marble finished with a smile. Stan snorts.

"Save you sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talking to my reflection-" Stan or McGucket, Dipper can't honestly tell who's crazier. "I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle breacelet not, so that'll be fun."

"So... I guess there's still room on this boat for three more?" Dipper asked.

Stan glared at the twins, trying to give them a hard 'No', but its hard not to give in seeing the kids now wearing those goofy fishing hats he painstakingly spent the whole night before stitching himself.

The gruff conman's stature softens. "You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"

"Five bucks says you can't do it!" Dipper challenged.

"Five bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing on top of my lungs."

"I like those odds!"

The next few hours passed like a blur, Dipper's first catch, Stan and Mabel's first family robbery, even Soos and Bear-O had their fair share of moments, it was a happy day for the Pines Family to cherish for a long time.

Dipper could honestly say, based on the last 13 minutes and 32 seconds that this was absolutely the best day she had this summer.

* * *

First of all, I apologize for the heck long delay, here on out no more splitting of chappies.

Thanks again for the Favs, Revs and Follows! No more delays I promise.

And yes, I've got big plans for dear little Pacifica here.

Also if ya have the time be sure to check out my second Gravity Falls fic, Avius.


	5. Systematic Monitoring

Well ain't this Dandy, chappy five. And no more parts one or two this time.

Tis jolly beta reading thanks for AquaBurst 07.

* * *

In the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon, there are two distinct ways its people can be viewed; first, there's the typical run of the mill denizens who blissfully went on with their daily lives in the rather atypical town of Gravity Falls, surprisingly oblivious for all the paranormal weirdness that became the norm in their somewhat peaceful home. In sort terms, they're called the clueless bunch.

On the other hand, there are the 'smarter' ones.

Not technically intellectual, as that may be a stretch, no, it's the people who know how to play it smart. The ones who know how the limitations of most people who lives in it, working around to make themselves a hefty name for the people of Gravity Falls to remember.

Stan Pines, unsurprisingly, fell under this category, but then there's the Northwest Clan.

Proud descendants of the great Nathaniel Northwest, the town's great founder, the Northwest's firmly established themselves as the town's royal family, with their names plastered on every local publications. Each member should be treated as royalty, for such rich people to ever grace this sleepy hick town is actually a rarity.

Such is the case of twelve-year-old Atlas E. Northwest, the youngest, yet the most popular amongst the Northwest clan.

It wasn't much of a surprise to everyone, really, with his slick blonde hair with bell bangs, brown eyes and a sharp defined nose between, coupled with his purple coach jacket and white tennis shorts. Everything in his fashion screams high standards, truly befitting that of a Northwest. He's the main reason why purple V neck T shirts became a hot trend in this town.

As a Northwest, money was never a problem. Nor it was a liable problem to begin with. With a flick of his wrist he can have everything he wants, what ever he wants.

As for girls on the other hand, they just kept coming.

Not that there's anything wrong with it, sure they can get annoying at times, well, no, most of the times, with all those screaming and all that, but he'd be lying if he said he doesn't revel at it either. Few prepubescent boys could actually boast they have most of the town's prepubescent girls chasing after him, even more better to actually rub it on a certain pasty child psychic's pudgy, obnoxious face.

It's offensively objectifying really, but no one, not even the girls complain about it, especially when someone like Atlas in the centre of it.

Granted some of them are actually pretty cute, in whom he had each dated once. Trixie was an odd one, a pasty rich blonde around his age with a thing for mini golf, though it didn't last. Then there's Sharon, a redhead, also around his age, who this time hated mini golf and unsurprisingly, it didn't last.

Then there's Kristen, Linda, Ariel, Jackie, Kari... He's pretty sure there's still half a dozen more he can't remember. Least he's having a break for dating for the time being, seeing as most of them are all the same (or as what he'd seen so far) anyway, until now.

That's why he's here, on the east side of the town, sitting on the passenger seat of his limo as it was parked near the intersection of Quentin St. On a block ahead lays the old Gravity Falls Library, a tall marble building, Atlas had to admit, the early morning sunlight compliments the establishment's majestic design. But he's not here to admire for architecture, or even read boring books for that matter.

"What's her status, Jeeves?" he asked his butler, who was currently in the drivers seat, not bothering to spare a glance. Atlas, absentmindedly, stared outside his window, hand rested on his chin.

"She's just about to be finished, sir. She's currently inquiring at the librarian to rent her new book." His butler, a bald pale man in a business suit, said, using a pair of binoculars to survey the particular building from afar, unflappable as always. "I must admit, young master, her taste of literature is impeccable, the revised edition of The Sibling Bros had a-"

"Can the chatter; there's no need for commentary here."

"As you wish, sir."

It was few days ago when he heard the news; Stan Pines, the town's notorious and only conman, has a niece staying around this summer. A niece around his age. She had a twin brother coming along too but Atlas couldn't care less.

The young heir opened the glove compartment, fumbling through its contents. He pulled out a small 2x2 picture of a girl no older than twelve, with short mop brown hair and hazel brown eyes, with faint hints of freckles over her cute button nose with a darker shade on it.

Dipper Pines, despite being new around town for no longer than a week, already had a handful of rumours circulating around her. Some of it can be more ridiculous that the other; some say she had a vampire boyfriend whom she broke up, or that a strange left-oriented man suddenly disappeared after being relentlessly stalked by her, and many more that adds up to her strangeness.

Strange enough to earn the attention of the great Atlas Northwest. Cute enough to make him follow her around all morning. Lucky girl.

He's just curious - that's all!

Silence befell upon them as the passengers of the limo wait. The only noise was the occasional close and open of the windows as Atlas fiddle around, trying to alleviate the boredom. Jeeves, on the other hand, was glued through his binoculars, barely moving an inch.

"There she is, sir," the butler finally spoke, midst in the deafening silence. The Pines girl left the building before Atlas grinned and stretched his arms.

"Alright, it's showtime."

Following the instructions he was given prior this morning, the butler, slowly, revved up the limo and slowly drives towards the front of the library.

He was surprised. She looked way more scrawny than he'd imagined, and those boyish clothes she wore; a blue vest over her red t shirt, blue shorts and a weird blue pine tree cap, somehow fitted her.

She walked out the building, completely preoccupied reading her new book. Occasionally, she would pause to greet some familiar townsfolk, but other than that, the skinny brunette kept on walking down the lane without so much as leaving her eyes off her book.

Perfume - check. Hair gel - check. Irresistible Northwest charm - check.

"Alright Jeeves, keep up with her. I got this," Atlas said with a smirk.

"As you wish, sir."

The limo slowly made its way besides the brown haired girl barely spared a glance, eyes too busy reading. The window of the passengers seat slowly opened, revealing a smirking Atlas.

"Hey there," he said as smoothly as he could.

The girl looked up from her book, staring at him in surprise. "Oh, um, hello."

A bit shy, with more on the awkward side, Atlas assessed. This is new. Normally, they would be gushing all over, but not this one. Time to play the polite stranger card.

"Haven't seen you around before."

Dipper blinked. "Um, yeah, I'm not actually from around here. I'm staying at my great-uncle's house this summer."

"Cool. The names Atlas Northwest, by the way," he said, with dramatic emphasis on his proud family name. That should be one heck of a surprise for her. Maybe now she would profusely apologise, any second now. Any second now...

"The names Dipper," she said. Atlas blinked. Dipper checked her watch and groaned. "Um, I better get going now."

"Wait, now?" Atlas asked.

He'd be lying if he said that didn't sting one bit, but he can't lose his cool now.

Dipper stared at him, left eye twitching. "Um, yeah. My brother's about to be finished with his little arts and crafts project."

He could feel her say 'duh', he's definitely sure she would say it. Okay; she's annoyed, time to switch gears.

"Well, there's this cool diner downtown that makes good smoothies. Maybe you and me, well you know, my treat."

No one, but no one could surely resist the temptation of Lady Susan's chocolate smoothies; even someone like him was bewitched by it's heavenly mixture of milk and cocoa. It's been his favourite dessert since kinder.

"No thanks. I'm full, but thanks for the offer anyway."

Aaaand his whole life was a lie...

"Okay. The Mystery Shack's a few blocks away, maybe I could drive you there."

It took him five seconds and a single alarmed look from the girl to realise his slip up, too late, clamping his mouth shut was all he could do.

"Wait a minute, how did you know I was gonna go there?" Dipper asked in a very serious tone, similar to the one her mother would often use when she would caught her father red handed letting Marble eat toothpaste. Screw politeness; she could tell this guy crossed more that one line already.

Atlas looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Well, um, that Pine Tree cap of yours was a give away." .

Dipper narrowed her eyes, idly adjusting her hat. "Good alibi, but the thing is, no one would even buy this merch." Then, a mortified look suddenly graced her pale features. "Are, are you some sort of stalker?"

"What!?" Atlas mirrored her expression. The nerve of this little shrimp to accuse him as such!

"You don't know me. You don't know where I live. And this is not a coincidence."

"How da-" Atlas took deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. "Okay, sure; I lied, I already knew, get that one out of the way." So she doesn't like the usual treatment? Alright, time to be blunt. "Your cute, I'm rich. Would you go out with me?" Maybe too blunt. "I've got a whole library back at home."

"Well, I've got a fire hydrant."

"Huh?" That came out of nowhere. Sporadic enough that even Atlas doesn't know what to say next.

Then it hit him, or them, him and his butler, literally. The limo suddenly made an abrupt stop, and he jolted in his seat.

"Yeesh, what happened, Jeeves?" Atlas asked.

"I believe its a fire hydrant, sir."

His butler stood a little in the drivers street to stare at the partially wrecked bumper, courtesy of a suspiciously built fire hydrant in front of it.

"And you just drove right through it?"

"Pardon sir, but it's the fire hydrant who suddenly moved right in front of us."

"... What?"

"It was there all along, waiting for the opportune moment to strike."

Atlas stared at him, long and hard. He doesn't even know what to say to that. As amazingly competent the family butler is at times, he had to remind himself that even age can took its toll on him, particularly his eccentric state of mind. All he could do is to pinch the bridge of nose and sighed.

"Whatever," Atlas said, unceremoniously opening the door.

He went after the brown haired girl, who now angrily stomped away, eager to put as much distance as she could between him.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Atlas called out, but Dipper promptly started sprinting.

"Go away!"

"Just wait a minute!" the boy managed to catch up with her, despite being ridiculously fast for a scrawny twelve-year-old girl. "Just stop for a moment will you? Sheesh."

He made it right in front if her, fortunately she stopped.

Dipper glared, crossing her arms. "Alright, give me one good reason not to call the cops."

"Cops? Really? Do you have any idea who I am?" Atlas smirked, trying hard to stifle a laugh.

"Apart from this creepy bratty stuck up rich kid slash stalker; no, not really."

"For the last time, I'm not a stalker!"

"So you didn't send that blond guy earlier in the library to keep an eye on me?"

"Was he blond? No he's bald and then... Oh crap."

Another major slip up. Atlas winced, seeing the look of anger on the bookworm's otherwise pretty face.

"Ugh! Unbelievable!"

Dipper threw her arms out in frustration. She had never been more grateful not to bring her Marble along. The thought of him being here right now actually scared her. Who knows what a quasi hyperactive overprotective brother armed with a grappling gun might do in this? She checked her watch, she's half an hour late already.

"I wish it didn't have to come to this..."

Dipper glared at him, reaching inside her vest. She pulled out two golf-ball-sized balls. With that, she threw the balls onto the ground as hard as she could.

A blinding flash soon followed, coupled with a billowing, thick smoke. Atlas covered his eyes for the next few minutes till it cleared, revealing an empty lane in front of him. And the Pines girl was nowhere in sight.

Atlas stood in a street lane under the warm morning light, mouth agape at the turn of events. And awkward silence was upon him, save for a few murmurs and gushing he'd get from the occasional pedestrians, particularly from the girls.

One thought came across his mind; Dipper Pines is not the typical archetype instant fangirl he thought she was.

What a waste of a fine Friday morning! If he knew it's going to come to this, he should have stayed home playing cricket!

"Well fine! Your loss anyway," Atlas grumbled.

Who cares if she's not interested! There's plenty more out there in the sea, and without smoke bombs or even friggin' fire hydrants. He'll get over her real quick. Not that he's already that invested in her in the first place to begin with, right?

Right.

He'd get over her quick Atlas...

Or so he thought.

* * *

_NORTHWEST_MANSION_

* * *

Situated above the highest of the Gravity Falls Mountains, stood a tall magnificent architectural masterpiece known by many, envied by some, and fantasized by few, as the world famous Northwest Mansion. Home of the richest family of Gravity Falls.

Built by the town's lumberjack community one hundred and a half years ago at the peak of their masonry skills, the Northwest Mansion stood proudly at a massive 30 feet tall on a whopping 18 square hectares of land. With its unique blend of the Victorian era of roof designs, and the Renaissance influenced gardening, truly it is, without a doubt the most, and only legit high class place of the Oregon.

It was ingeniously designed for the people of Gravity Falls to look up to the Northwest family, geographically placed for the Northwest Family to look down at the people of Gravity Falls.

In one of its high class rooms, amongst hundreds of more, Atlas paced back in forth, an unreadable expression etched across his face.

Frustration is written all over him, but not because of his father grounding him for partially wrecking the limo, no, it's that little fiasco he had this morning. More specifically, that girl.

He was all over her the moment he stepped into the ceramic floors of his luxurious home, that she's completely forgotten as he slowly made his way back to his bedroom after a half an hour chewing from his dad.

It's like scratching a scab really, it just grows when he does, and the more he ignores it, the more restless he gets.

He remembered her accusations. Was he a stalker? No, Atlas wouldn't call it stalking, more like, systematic monitoring...yeah, less creepy yet more professional, but still creepy nonetheless.

For the third time of the week, he mentally asked himself, why does he even bother? He doesn't know why, but he just felt like doing it!

"Get out of my head!" he gritted his teeth, hands clutched his hair.

How could such a mere shrimp like her could have this effect on him? Was it because of those warm hazel blue eyes, or the faint traces of freckles on her dimpled cheeks? Or that adorable shaded button nose? Or maybe because she's just dorky little bookworm, or that her tomboyish choice of clothing is actually cute? Or maybe because she's first girl to ever turned him down...?

Was he obsessed? Heck no! He'd like to think of this as one of those crappy catchy songs that won't leave you alone, no matter how much you hated it.

And just because he has this whiteboard placed on the middle of his bedroom, filled with pictures of that Pines girl, notes and papers detailing her recent activities/exploits, certainly doesn't equate to creepy stalking.

A loud knock echoed through the mahogany door.

"Come in!" Atlas called out.

Two quick knocks; he could tell its Jeeves on the other side of the door.

The Butler opened the door halfway through just to peek. "Pardon me, young master, but you have a guest waiting for you at the door."

The young heir narrowed his eyes. "We don't entertain guests in this afternoon, unless of course, it's our kind."

Or her.. Shut up Atlas.

"It's her, sir."

Speak of the devil. A small, shark like grin made its way onto Atlas face. "I'll see her in the guest room."

Jeeves nodded. "Right away, sir," he said, and unceremoniously closed the door.

10 seconds of dressing up, 2 minutes of applying perfume. Atlas finally made his way downstairs.

There she is. Standing in the middle of the room, noodle arms crossed as her foot tapped relentlessly on the floor. If looks could kill, Dipper's glare would murder him right there on the staircase.

"You just don't know when to quit do you?" she asked rhetorically.

Atlas shrugged. "Hey, we just met this morning. Too early for you to say."

Dipper looked like she was about to explode. Her face reddened, but instead she took a deep breath instead.

"Let me make myself clear. I'm. Not. Interested. And by that I want you to stop sending me those letters!"

The blonde blinked. "Um, what?"

The brunette pulled out a corked green bottle from her blue vest, a scrolled paper can be seen inside. "Bottled letters in Spanish? Really? Gosh my brother's way more subtle than you."

"Whoa, wait a minute. You think I'm the one sending those letters?"

"Oh please, don't tell me you don't know! I get it, your rich, post mails too obvious for you. Also tell your club of rabid fangirls to leave me alone! The hate mails just kept on coming!"

"Now, listen here-" Atlas was about to give her a piece of his mind, then it him. Someone sent Dipper a love letter? Someone, actually dared to poach on his turf. Unbeknownst to him, hot flash of possessive rage suddenly rose up to his chest.

"Grr, gimme' that!"

He snatched the bottle from Dipper's hands. Quickly removing the cork, he shook the bottle till the piece of paper it contained fell onto his hand. He didn't waste any moment and quickly read it.

"Diamante... Hermosa Doncella!?" He couldn't bear to read any further. The piece of paper was quickly reduced to pieces in just a second after he read it. "This is way too cheesy to be my work."

"Nope, ain't gonna buy it!" Dipper said. Her hand suddenly raised, revealing two-oh no, not again. And before he knew it, an all too familiar blinding flash happened, and thick smoke filled the otherwise guest room.

Must be an upgrade or something. As unlike earlier, the smoke went on for around fifteen minutes, as expected, the girl was nowhere to be found leaving Atlas, for the second time of the day, alone.

The butler unceremoniously walked in, carrying two glasses of lemonade.

"Refreshments for the-" he momentarily stopped, taking a look around the room. "Oh dear, she did it again isn't she."

Atlas never bothered to answer that obvious statement. Instead, he opted to respond with another. "Jeeves, I've got a job for you."

"And what would it be, sir?"

"I want a background check on every Hispanic person here in Gravity Falls. Each. And every single on of them."

Jeeves nodded. "Consider it done, sir."

* * *

_MYSTERY_SHACK_

* * *

Saturday marked another momentous morning for the Mystery Shack, and the people of Gravity Falls to neither care nor even bother visiting, seeing as a certain infamous kooky conman is behind all the event taking place.

The Wax Museum, after a decade on inactivity, is finally reopening to this very day. And from what Atlas gathered, is actually a pretty decent addition to the Shack's, only shut down due to bankruptcy.

It wasn't actually something normally a Northwest would indulge, but that didn't stop Atlas from coming in discreetly either way for reasons he can't yet bring himself to explain.

The event was everything he'd expect from Stan Pines: cheap reception, cheap banners, cheap handyman, and pretty much everything only a dollar can afford.

But he had to give it to him though, those wax figures they're showcasing, each ranges from every prominent person in history, is everything but make do. Especially, dare he say it, the wax Stan Figure looks pretty topnotch, the only thing it needs is a few pair of horns. Given the chance he'd personally liked to meet the artist behind such an articulate art. Maybe they could make one of his amazing likenesses.

His answer was on the form of a brown haired boy around his age, looking suspiciously like Dipper and wearing a weird, red sweater and blue shorts.

"Thank you for coming!" he shot the audience a brace filled grin. "It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears and other bodily fluids."

The crowd reeled back in disgust. Atlas cringed, on second thought, never mind that.

As expected, the free pizza, an ingenious marketing technique he admits, that the flyers promised later after $10 worth of admission fee, is actually a typo, and intentional typo on that old con man's book.

Cue the angry raging mob, and Stan being Stan, disappeared in one of his smoke bombs. Again.

"Yeesh, they sure are related," the young heir commented dryly. Turns out morality are hardly relative on that family line. He unceremoniously stood up from his seat, feeling curious somehow, he suddenly felt like snooping around the Shack a little bit more.

In which he'd come to regret later, as he quickly found himself pinned against a nearby tree with surprisingly strong noodle arms, courtesy of a certain cranky brunette. Two pair of hazel eyes stared at each other. Well, this is awkward.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" Dipper growled, as low as menacing as she could.

Atlas had to stifle a giggle at how adorably squeaky it sounded, the last thing he need is another smoke bomb.

The boy took a deep breath, nice and easy. Well if he was being honest with himself, there's so many things he'd like to say; so many words, so little time.

"You think it's easy for me to be here? I don't wanna hang around this little hovel, let alone have people know about me being here. And how did you know it was me by the way?"

Surely no one would have guessed it was the great Atlas Northwest behind that oversized moustache he wore, no one.

Dipper rolled her eyes, grip on his shirt tightening. "There aren't any blonde stuck up rich kids here in Gravity Falls who thinks they can get whatever they want... And you didn't answer my question!"

It was Atlas turn to growl this time, eyebrows suddenly furrowing in frustration.

"Okay fine! You wanna know why?" The brown haired girl yelped when the heir suddenly grabbed both of her shoulders. "What did you do to me!?"

"I-I, what are you talking about?" She asked and angrily shrugged his hands off.

"What did YOU, do to ME!? It's horrible, ever since you came here, no ever since I saw you in that swing at that little playground, you just won't, like giit out of my head!"

Dipper was taken back; the anger written across her face was now replaced with pure befuddlement. "I-I, uh, what?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me, no girl has ever done that to me before. Hm, maybe I'm thinking of kidnapping you... Oh no now I said it out loud. I'm starting to like the idea."

Now Dipper's creeped out. Creeped enough to finally let go of her hold of him, and took a few steps back mouth agape and eyes widened. Her left hand quickly reached in for her vest.

"Oh no you don't!" Atlas warned, pointing a finger at her.

"Oh yes I will!" Dipper glared, and pointed a finger towards his limo. "You either get out, or eat this."

He threw his arms out to surrender. "Alright, alright I'm going, fine. I've got a Spanish speaking jerk to hunt down anyway."

And finally, he left.

Dipper took a deep breath and sighed. "Gosh he's worse than the Gnomes."

"Hey Dip! Watcha doin?" She heard an all too familiar hyperactive voice behind her said.

"Oh um, hey Marble!" Dipper sputtered, quickly turning around to face her brother, a clear look of utter confusion on the boy's face. "Um, I was just looking around ya know? I'm not being suspicious or anything right?"

Marble shrugged. "If you say so... Hey, ya wanna play some Syrup Race?"

The brown haired girl smiled. "Yeah, let's."

* * *

_NORTHWEST_MANSION_NEXT_DAY_

* * *

"It all adds up, the murder weapon, the suspiciously high amounts of hair gel you use. You, Atlas Northwest, is the murderer!" Dipper finished dramatically with a triumphant smirk, pointing a finger towards a very bored Atlas who lazily hunched up in his sofa. Behind her, a pair of Oregon rangers can be seen looking very apologetic and absolutely terrified at the same time. "Arrest him officers!"

"Care to explain me what's gotten into her?" Atlas lazily asked one of the officers, for once, ignoring this brown haired girl in front of him.

"Um, you see your highness." Dipper rolled her eyes at the ego feeding nickname. Sherriff Blubs, a black middle aged man with a stout build managed the nerve to reply. "Around 10:18 last night, Wax Stanford Pines was found dead in his living room, the cause of death was a swift decapitation of a left hander axe."

Atlas arched a brow.

"It's obvious the case was unsolvable. But City Girl here did her own investigation anyway, and somehow, she thinks it's you. I'm very sorry for this, your highness, we tried to stop her-"

"She got her Nyarf gun pointed at us! It was so scary!" Blubbs' partner wailed, a tall lanky white officer with a long pale nose and irregular teeth, who goes by the name Durland.

Dipper cleared her throat. "As I was saying, you knew I was gonna' be there, on that day. You knew you could find me that far corner of the Shack. "

"And now she's blabbering things to the point that I don't care," Atlas muttered dryly to himself.

She remained undeterred. "But what you didn't knew was I was gonna' turn you down. You have that snooty stuck up self of yours all along but you don't know who to blame. So you tried to murder Stan because the free pizza was a lie."

With the nonsensical blabber now over, Atlas nodded. "You're done?"

"Until you're behind bars, never."

The blond smirked and stapled his fingers. "Well then, Agent Starling, if I were the person behind such, should my fingerprints would be found on the murder weapon?"

Now this made Dipper pause. "Oh, um, right of course there are!"

"Nope, not a trace." Blubs interjected.

"See—w-wait what!?" The brunette exclaimed in shock.

Durland shined a UV light on the murder weapon they've been carrying. Revealing how spotless the handle appeared without any traces of fingerprints.

"Nope, ain't a print can be seen on it. Hey! I've got a headline for you-City Girl wastes everyone's time!" The lanky officer said, and the two enforces burst into a fit of teasing giggles.

Atlas chuckled as well; he had to give it to this pair of idiots, that is sadistically hilarious noting the mortified look on the girl's face.

"You know, there are better ways to get my attention." He smirked, and the scrawny brunette shot him an angry glare. "But this is just adorable~"

"Adorable!?" Dipper yelled angrily. It's bad enough her brother teased her about it all the time. Now she'd have to hear it from this jerk! "Oh, I'll show you who's… who's-" The threat didn't came, only the sound of an adorable, kitten like sneeze from the skinny brunette.

An awkward silence came, and Dipper flushed and looks down at the ground, a mortified look on her face. Then, all the males' chuckled, even the normally composed Atlas was on his knees clutching his hurting stomach, raucous laughter emanated throughout the guest room.

The laughter went on for minutes; it wasn't until Dipper chucked a smoke bomb straight onto Durland's face till it ended.

* * *

_WAX_STAN_PINES_FUNERAL_

* * *

"Dipper, Soos, Lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming," a devastated Stan announced.

Soos blew his nose with a handkerchief, besides him is a very anxious Dipper and dozens of other wax figures fortunate enough to have their heads intact.

"Now some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

"They're wrong!" Soos declared, quickly jumped and points a finger at the old man.

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope your picking wax pockets in Wax heaven."

Stan could feel his eyes water.

"I'm sorry; I got glitter in my eye."

The conman cried and ran outside of the funeral room. Soos being Soos, ran after him.

"Ooooooh, duuuude!" he wailed hysterically.

And soon enough, all the adults of the room disappeared. Leaving a very paranoid brown haired girl.

Dipper checked her watch and groaned. "Come on, where is he."

Her brother said something about glitter and skeleton being in the same sentence, and that he's gonna' check in their room for the moment to rid the world of its corruption. Or she thought he said as its actually just another bunch of his incoherent jargon. He said he'd be back for a few minutes now, and half a dozen had already passed.

Bored, she just stared at Wax Stan's open coffin and sighed. "Those cops were right about me."

"Well isn't this dandy," an all too familiar snooty voice announced.

Normally, Dipper would be really tempted to throw this chair she's been sitting on right at him, but she's too exhausted with all that happened this day.

She groaned and buried her head into her hands. "Ugh, not you again. What do you want this time?"

Atlas shrugged. "Hey, I'm here to pay my respects."

This earned him a snort from Dipper. "You of all people already know that's a lie."

"Ouch, I'm hurt. C'mon, and you think I'm the one who has a narrow view on people here."

"That's because people like you are too easy to figure out." Dipper finally turned to face him, ready for another round of jabbing with this blonde little jerk, but she was surprised to see him wearing a full pitch black suit holding a bouquet of expensive flowers. She deflated. He looked completely well dressed for a funeral, even for a wacky wax funeral such as this, and here she is still wearing those boyish clothes she always wore. "Oh."

The blonde heir slowly made his way towards Wax Stan's coffin, and ceremoniously placed the bouquet on top of it. All Dipper could do is to stare. Who could blame her? Seeing the normally snooty, arrogant Northwest youngster this…. Cordial, is enough to make her gape. He never said a word even until he made his way into a chair beside her, in which she didn't even bother object, much to her surprise.

Well this is awkward, with both of them sitting beside each other, neither of them saying a word nor even batting an eye to each other. Atlas just sat there, looking formally calm without his usual nasally rude nature, while Dipper neither looked anything but formal nor even the slightest bit calm. Being a feet near from the guy she caught red handed stalking her just yesterday, the creepy vibe she still get around him still never ceased to rattle her.

It was Atlas who broke the uncomfortable silence first. "Did you know, Wax Stan has this weird holes on his right feet?"

"Um, no not really," she said, and then a realization was upon her. "Wait, you don't think…."

The blonde nodded. "All wax figures have those. I'd seen the snapshots; the suspect's footsteps had the strange holes too. Also, found on the right foot, all I can say is, this is not a coincidence."

"Now that you said that.."

"And no fingerprints." Atlas said, staring at the murder weapon lying in the corner, and then he stood up. "It all adds up, I think the murderer is—"

"Standing right behind you," an all new British voice said.

The twelve-year-olds turned around, only to see the unthinkable happened.

The Wax Figures, the normally lifeless wax work of art, are now standing. Each now looking more alive than ever. The famous comedian Groucho, the terrifying Lizzie Borden, the formally cool Larry King, the artistic genius Shakesphere, the infamous Genghis Khan, and even the famous rapper Coolio is part of the fray.

It was Wax Sherlock Homes who spoked, being the probable leader of the zany cabal as he stood in front of them.

Dipper gasped. Atlas, to his credit, despite the startling revelation of living wax figures, still kept his cool, though a little rattled.

"Aw man, that was supposed to be my punchline..." the boy said, shocked.

The girl stared at him. "Seriously!?"

Actual, living wax figures stood before them and that's all he ever cared?

Atlas shrugged. "To be fair it is kinda cool they're alive or something, but nah it got old."

He wasn't lying, if anything he was underwhelmed much to his surprise. How a bout freaky little golfballs that actually talks? Now that is something he'd like to see! Not some creepy people made of solid oil!

Wax Sherlock Holmes cleared his throat, earning the attention of the two twelve year olds. "Can we get back to the topic please, anyone?" The wax figures behind him nodded in unison. "Congratulations my two amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth, and now, were going to bury you."

"Whoa, take it easy there," Atlas said in actual concern towards the girl.

With the panicking look on her face and erratic breathing, Dipper looked like she's about to suffer a heart attack.

"Bravo, Dipper Pines! You have uncovered our little secret. Nowhere near the likes of the one and only Irene Adler but still commendable nonetheless," the famous Wax Detective said sarcastically, then he turned towards Atlas. "And who might you supposed to be?"

Atlas huffed. Pity the ignorant fool before him; he's fortunate enough the heir is not in the mood for chivalry right now.

"Atlas E. Northwest, no thank you."

Holmes rubbed his chin. "Ah, a Northwest you say? Watson told me many things about your family. You snooty Western aristocrats and their cheap make do cigars."

"Oho, I take offense on that last one!" Atlas exclaimed.

Holmes ignored him and turned towards Dipper. The girl had a terrified look on her face, no matter how hard she tried to look brave. "And I admit, you astound me. Shouldn't a wee lass like you be into more on, oh I don't know, Tea Parties and dolls?"

"What!?" Dipper yelled, offended. Anger rose up to her as her loud voice rang throughout the room, making the other occupants wince.

"Yeesh, your loud." Atlas muttered, nursing his ears. He then turn towards the Wax Figures, particularly at Holmes. "So, what's the deal with you guys anyway? You've got magic on you or something?"

Holmes chuckled, as if he finds it actually hilarious. "Magic you say? He wants to know if were made of magic!" He turned towards his wax companions, and they burst in a fit of mocking laughter. Soon enough, it suddenly ceased. "Were cursed!"

"Cursed! Cursed!" the other wax figures repeated like a chant in unison.

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your Uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A haunted garage sale, son!" Wax Coolio added.

"And so the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be playthings of man."

"But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night!"

"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings. That is, until your Uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away... But we got the wrong guy."

"So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real!?" Dipper shrieked. She was right all along, Wax figures are creepy.

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die." Wax Holmes said as slowly.

As if the brunette isn't terrified beyond her wits enough already, all the Wax figures eyes slowly rolled back to their heads, leaving only pure blank eyes that could outmatch the Gobblewonker's in creepiness.

"Whatdowedowhatdowedo-"

Aw jeez, she's hyperventilating now. Atlas stared at Dipper and rolled his eyes and shrugged. He took a deep breath. Stay cool. A Northwest never panics. He cleared his throat and adjusted his suit for any wrinkles.

"Surely we can make some arrangements about this?" the heir said.

"Oh don't you worry about your funeral arrangements. We'll have it taken care of." Wax Holmes chuckled.

Atlas shook his head. "Fine then, have it your way."

The boy reached in his jacket and pulled out a short, white office folder filled with papers with random text and records.

The sight of the pure white, spotless document is enough to stop Wax Holmes in his tracks. For some reason. "Wait. What are you doing?" He asked in disbelief. The other Wax figures stared at him in confusion.

"Hey Shrimp, get me a live firewood," Atlas whispered, gesturing his head on a nearby fireplace.

"Um, why?"

"Just do it, okay! I'm trying to save us here." The boy gritted his teeth.

"If you dare, lay a finger on that precious document you've been holding. Your gonna regret it, boy." Wax Holmes warned, fear now evident in is voice.

"What's up with Holmes, dawg?" Wax Coolio whispered to Wax Genghis Khan, who shrugged.

"I hope you know what your doing here," Dipper huffed, handing him a piece of firewood, still burning on its end.

Seeing the terrified look on Wax Holmes face, Atlas smirked and slowly moved the document near the burning piece of wood.

"What are you doing!? Don't you dare!" Wax Holmes exclaimed in horror.

"Oh for Pete's sake." Wax Lizzie Borden had enough, and now brandished her infamous axe, eager to give these children forty whacks. Yet Atlas retained his calm aura, in contrast to Dipper's screeching horror. Fortunately for them, Wax Holmes immediately stood in her way.

"Get out of my way!" the homicidal woman growled.

"What's up with you, Homie?" Wax Coolio asked.

"Fools! This is very critical, just let me handle it!" Wax Holmes yelled at them. Then, after composing himself, turned around to face this sneaky little brat. "Alright, I'll bite."

Atlas nodded with smirk. "Good, good, now how about-"

"But-" The Waxed Detective cut the boy off. "For assurance, hand me over the document first, and then we'll talk." He eagerly demanded with his hand outstretched.

"Oh no you don't, you people wasted enough of my time already!" Atlas scowled, he then slowly inched the document slowly towards the burning wo-

"Okay okay! Please no more, we'll talk!" Wax Holmes pleaded.

"What's the deal with him?" A now very confused Dipper whispered to Atlas, never taking her eyes off the apparently horrified Wax Detective. Atlas just stared at her, a look that is, in a way, one would give when a Fisherman asks what a fish is.

"You, don't know?" Atlas asked.

Dipper shook her head.

He sighed. "Sherlock Holmes is a hoarder. Burning documents is his dose of horror."

"Oh right." Dipper said in embarrassment. She of all people would know that, well, she would if she wasn't too busy screaming in terror.

Atlas cleared his throat. "As I was saying. I can tell you people missed the old day's haven't you. With that I have a proposal."

Wax Holmes arched a brow. "I can see where this is going."

"Surely you've heard of the famous Northwest Mansion, have you not?"

* * *

_MYSTERY_SHACK_PORCH_5_MINS_LATER_

* * *

Well that went about as well as expected, Dipper mentally mused. One moment those Wax Figures came to life and were about to kill them in ways she wouldn't wanna know, yet by a strange stroke of luck, or a certain blonde rich kid, they were now willing to negotiate. An offer to be the new decorations of the famed Northwest Manor, with all the wide space to roam and those servants they'll have some kicks scaring, was too good for the Wax People to decline (though she wondered why Atlas would personally place Lizzie in his Father's bedroom, she'd just kept it to herself).

Of course there's still Stan Pines to consider, but nah, all it took is a few hundred dollars on Atlas' pocket.

Normally she would wonder how a strange turn of events could happen, but all that matters now is that at least she had her head intact.

Atlas

She had to admit, the way he handled things back there, was actually pretty suave. Smart. Cheeky. Composed. How she wished she could share the same, seeing as she have a knack of panicking at times like those.

"Well, guess I'll call it a night now." Atlas said, and promptly started walking towards his nearby parked limo.

"Hey wait." Dipper called out, and the boy turned around to stare at her. "Um, thank you.. For what you did back there." The words of gratitude had never felt so foreign leaving her mouth before. That wasn't enough of course. He saved her life for crying out loud. "You were um.." She trailed off. Cool? Slick? Any compliment without feeding his already huge ego would do. "Awesome." She finishe lamely. Good enough.

Atlas flashed her a smug smirk much to her chagrin and shrugged. "Don't mention it." Wow he's actually being humble! It was, nice, she think. Truth is she's been dreading to say 'Thank you' for the last five minutes. Knowing Atlas, he'd probably ask her out on a date right after that, no, not probably, very very likely. Knowing she can't say no this time around, not after what he did.

"Though, there is one thing I'd like to ask." The young heir said with an all to suspicious smile.

Dipper felt her heart skipped a beat. On second thought, maybe she's getting way ahead of things. "Um, sure, anything on my range I can give." She nervously asked.

Please not it, please not it, please not it, ple-

"Could you say that again?"

Oh.

Dipper blinked." Um, Thank you." She said anyway, though confused.

"No, I meant the other one."

"What do you-" Oooooh, alright. She is getting way too ahead of herself. Of course, wishing for polite and nice Atlas Northwest is like asking for a dollar from Stan. Oh well... Dipper facepalmed. "You were awesome," she forced out, trying hard to ignore the now irritating grin that now graced the boy's face.

Atlas nodded smugly, eyes closed. He placed his hands behind his back. "Now say it again, this time with, 'You were awesome! Oh great and magnificent Atlas E. Northwest! Such handsomeness such as yours can never be surpassed, nor can be reached."

Dipper made a face. "Oh my god that's cheesy!"

The boy nodded again. "I know, that's why I want you to say it."

The brown haired girl scowled. He's lucky she doesn't have her smoke bombs.

. "You were awesome! Oh great and magnificent Atlas E. Northwest! Such handso-"

"Make it sincere for crying out loud. You sound like somone being strangled."

It took every fiber of Dipper's being not to strangle this cheeky little snob right in front of her. She closed her eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Okay lets go. "You were awesome~! Oh great and magnificent Atlas E. Northwest~! Such handsomeness~such as yours can never be surpassed, nor can be reached!"

Her voice was surprisingly soft, supple(or he thinks that's the right way to use that word, he doesn't even now what it means), but overall, its actually pretty.

Despite the boyish overtones, Dipper Pines actually has a beautiful voice for a twelve-year-old tomboy. Heh, who knew?

Ubenkownst to Dipper, who is busy doing over dramatic spits of disgust after that overdramatic speech, Atlas stared at her in a mixture of awe, surprise, and confusion.

"Wow." He involuntarily let out, which thankfully went unheard by the brunette.

One thought crossed his mind. The stage lost a fine speaker, when she'd rather spend her summer here in Gravity Falls.

"Hey, hey, you still there?" Dipper asked, snapping her fingers in front of a dazed Atlas face.

The boy snapped out of it. "Um, uh, what?"

Dipper crossed. "Alright there, I did it, anything else your highness?" She asked sarcastically.

Atlas composed himself. "That'll do." He said, though it sound quick and abrupt as he quickly made his way to his limo. Hopefully she didn't noticed him flushing.

Dipper shrugged and went inside the house. The thought of what brother is doing now in her mind.

"How was the funeral sir?" the butler asked, seeing the young heir quickly sat in the passenger sit, hastily fastening his seatbelt.

"About as well as you'd expect. Also, tell Mom were having a new batch of decorations for the Manor tomorrow. She's gonna love it."

Jeeves nodded. "Consider it done sir."

His hand went to the gear shift, right foot pressed down the pedal, soon enough the Limo was on its way to the Northwest Manor.

Atlas had never been more thankful that he kept a voice recorder in his pocket all along.

* * *

And there's our little Pacifica. Special thanks to NickStriker for the cool name.

Welp, to be honest, I never had so much fun writing child stalkers before... I have issues..

See ya in ze next chappy guyz~


End file.
